Chapter 1

Meg begins by recounting a recurring fantasy where her mother returns to reclaim her, only for Meg to berate her for abandoning her before finally agreeing to leave together. She contrasts this fantasy with reality: her mother once failed to pick her up, leaving Meg to be placed in the Oxford orphanage at age nine; she is now eleven and trying to stop such dreams.

Meg explains the orphanage’s setting and rules: a locked front, a prim vestibule with a discriminatory rule sign, and a lounge reserved for volunteers. Babies and toddlers are separated and more favored, while older girls face restrictive dress codes, dreary dorms with stained cots, and meager food.

Assigned to the office away from others by Miss Garnett, Meg endures a dark, mildewed room with a boarded window. From the hall, Dorella taunts her, threatening her at the wash pump and calling her “Nutmeg.” Meg resents the nickname but notes that isolation and boredom push her into talking to imaginary people and performing small rebellions.

Meg recounts how the “Nutmeg” slur began after she tried to explain the concept of a flush toilet in the Ladies’ Lounge, which Dorella mocked. The cruelty escalates with prank signs labeling Meg insane. Meg’s anger flares, wishing illness on Dorella in a moment of frustration.

Meg remembers that when Ava was present, the bullying subsided. Ava once humiliated Dorella by tossing her underpants into the outhouse to stop Dorella’s violence against Meg. However, Ava turned twelve and was sent to work at a Biloxi cannery two months prior, leaving Meg more exposed to torment.