Contents
Chapter 2: Buddhism for Assholes
Overview
Carolyn recruits Steve, a reformed burglar, to break into Detective Miner’s house, baiting him with cash and vague motives. After stealing a car and entering the empty home, Miner ambushes them and shoots Steve. Carolyn then stages a killing by placing the shotgun in Steve’s hands and firing at Miner, framing Steve while mourning him after.
Summary
At Warwick Hall, Carolyn bluntly asks Steve, a plumber with a buried past as a burglar, to break into a house. She dangles a duffel with $327,000 and hints that a precious, sentimental item was taken from her. Despite his resistance and vows to live better, Steve’s skills and debts pull him in.
Preparing carefully, Steve discards traceable items, gathers tools, and insists on switching vehicles. He and Carolyn steal a Toyota Camry from long-term airport parking and drive into a sparsely occupied subdivision, Carolyn guiding him by memory. Steve reviews basic burglary precautions and notes her unusual calm.
They target a small green ranch house addressed to Detective Marvin Miner. Finding no one home and the alarm off, Steve forces the back door. Inside, as Steve scouts the rooms, Carolyn’s flirtation distracts him. When she kisses him in the dining room, Steve spots a man with a shotgun reflected in the china cabinet—Detective Miner, disoriented and repeating, “You’re under arrest.”
At Carolyn’s prompt, Miner fires and fatally wounds Steve. After Steve collapses, Carolyn coolly takes the shotgun, positions Steve’s dead hands on it, and shoots Miner through the chest, killing him. She plants Steve’s thumbprint on a light plate, completing the staged scene to frame Steve for Miner’s death.
With the setup done, Carolyn refuses to cry. Instead, she gently closes Steve’s eyes, apologizes in many languages, and holds him through the night, promising, “I’ll make it better,” while the moonlight falls over the shattered dining room.
Who Appears
- CarolynCalculating librarian who recruits Steve, orchestrates a break-in, triggers his death, then kills Miner using Steve’s hands and stages the scene.
- Steve HodgsonPlumber and former burglar lured by $327,000; steals a car, breaks in, is shot by Miner, and posthumously framed as Miner’s killer.
- Detective Marvin MinerDisoriented, armed homeowner who ambushes Steve and shoots him; then is killed by a staged shotgun blast using Steve’s hands.