50

After years of limited reading, Agnes is granted access to the full Bible, a privilege restricted to Aunts. Before she opens it, Becka warns her without details, directing her to Judges 19–21. Agnes, excited yet unsettled, recalls that Becka began this reading earlier but was forbidden to discuss it.

In the Reading Room, Agnes turns to Judges and finds the concubine’s story as Aunt Vidala once recounted but without Aunt Estée’s moral gloss. The text shows a woman forced out, raped to death, and dismembered, not a noble self-sacrifice or choice. Agnes realizes Aunt Estée lied, and that Gilead’s version has added, omitted, and reshaped scripture.

This discovery triggers a profound spiritual crisis. Agnes feels abandoned and hollow, as when Tabitha died, fearing that her faith—and the identity built on it—is disintegrating. She confides in Becka, who admits the same collapse once happened to her and declares the leaders of Gilead have lied to them.

Becka articulates a stark conclusion: one can believe in Gilead or in God, but not both. Agnes cannot yet choose; she fears losing both beliefs but longs to keep faith. Her yearning becomes the thread that holds her amid doubt.