Chapter 31

Noelle addresses Floyd, admitting she lied about contraception and unexpectedly became pregnant in her mid-thirties. At their 10-week scan, the fetus has no heartbeat. Floyd’s reaction—a sigh of annoyance and withdrawal—wounds Noelle more than the loss itself, signaling his emotional distance and conditional commitment.

After the miscarriage, Floyd frames it as a chance to separate, but he does not end things. Noelle lingers, reverting to a casual, on-call arrangement. She briefly moves in during house repairs, sensing Floyd’s reluctance. Floyd’s daughter, Sara-Jade, oscillates between hostility and neediness, intensifying Floyd’s turmoil and Noelle’s longing for a stable bond.

Years pass; condoms return, then lapse as Noelle ages. She conceives again but keeps it secret to avoid reliving Floyd’s indifference. Before her scheduled scan, she miscarries at home and cancels the appointment, never telling Floyd about the second loss.

That same day, Noelle conducts her first tutoring session with Ellie Mack. Immersed in Ellie’s warm family home and struck by Ellie’s beauty, intelligence, and gentleness, Noelle contrasts Ellie with her own losses and Floyd’s fraught family life. She leaves feeling a fateful connection and allows her grief to transmute into fixation, confessing she became obsessed with Ellie.