Contents
Chapter 33
Overview
Noelle narrates her fixation on “golden girls,” funneling it into Ellie after Laurel cancels tutoring. Resentful and lonely, Noelle begins stalking Ellie at school and during half-term.
When Ellie briefly fails to recognize her on the street, Noelle interprets it as rejection, a trigger she suggests led to Ellie's fate.
Summary
Noelle reflects on her lifelong envy of effortless, “golden” women and how admiration mixed with superiority and invisibility shaped her identity. Ellie Mack, brilliant and beloved, becomes Noelle’s newest fixation, amplified by Ellie’s golden boyfriend, Theo, and fantasies of Ellie’s perfect future.
Noelle contrasts this with her fraught relationship with Floyd, resenting his emotional distance and the eerie presence of his small daughter. Tutoring Ellie provides Noelle with purpose and cozy ritual; she imagines sharing credit for Ellie’s exam triumphs and acceptance from Laurel, the “pleasant mother.”
When Laurel calls to end the lessons, Noelle reacts with hostility and spirals from resentment into nostalgia, convincing herself that seeing Ellie again will restore the feeling of belonging she had on Tuesdays.
Noelle begins stalking: first at Ellie’s school during start and finish times, then during half-term by watching from a café near Noelle’s street, tracking Ellie’s trips to the library. She insists she only wants a glimpse of Ellie to feel seen.
Spotting Ellie one day, Noelle approaches. Ellie does not recognize her for a moment, then smiles in recollection. Noelle experiences this delay as invalidation and rejection, concluding that if Ellie had affirmed her instantly, none of what followed would have happened—implying this slight catalyzed the decision that led to Ellie’s disappearance.
Who Appears
- Noelle DonnellyNarrator; obsessed with Ellie, resents losing tutoring, stalks her, and hints this led to harming Ellie.
- Ellie MackBright student and focus of Noelle’s obsession; briefly fails to recognize Noelle, triggering Noelle’s spiral.
- Floyd DunnNoelle’s partner; emotionally withholding, his home life fuels Noelle’s resentment.
- Laurel MackEllie’s mother; cancels tutoring, unintentionally catalyzing Noelle’s fixation and stalking.
- Theo GoodmanEllie’s boyfriend; emblem of the “golden” future Noelle envies.
- Poppy DunnFloyd’s daughter; her unsettling presence intensifies Noelle’s discomfort and isolation.