IX. Life — Gideon

Without stimulants to keep him awake, Gideon leaves the Society house after only six months, opting for the safety of realms over reality. He drifts through sleep, occasionally visiting Parisa out of nostalgic self-harm, and notes that Max now has a fuller life—including a kind girlfriend—signaling that friends are moving on without him.

Feeling unpursued and unthreatened, Gideon resigns himself to depression and anonymity in others’ dreams. On a shoreline that feels like someone else’s memory, Nico appears beside him, casual and familiar, prompting Gideon to question whether this meeting is real, a reconstruction, or simply a dream.

Gideon probes the possibility of resurrection—recalling Dalton’s claims and death—but Nico dismisses certainty as irrelevant. The two banter in multiple languages, testing the edges of memory and identity, while Gideon contends with the cost of loving what he may have already lost.

Despite the fear that having and losing again will hurt worse, Gideon chooses presence over proof. He and Nico decide to cook together instead of searching for answers, allowing domestic normalcy to supplant metaphysical doubt. The chapter closes with Gideon accepting that the sand of reality could be counted, but need not be, as he rests in the moment.