Chapter 34

Alexis narrates the month following her breakup with Daniel, describing a robotic routine and dreams that leave her bereft upon waking. Even vivid memories of Wakan—like the Grant House stained glass—fade, symbolizing a life she believes she can’t keep once she left.

Emotionally flat, Alexis endures her father’s brief lecture and her mother’s request that she apologize to him for not reconciling with Neil. She withdraws from friends, immerses herself in work while dreading the hospital’s upcoming quasquicentennial, which should mark her stepping into the Montgomery role but now feels meaningless.

She recognizes her depression: nothing brings joy, and she feels she has drowned. Alexis rationalizes the breakup as protecting Daniel from her world’s pressures, yet questions why doing the “right” thing hurts so much.

After a mass-casualty shift where a seven-year-old dies and Alexis informs the family, she longs for Daniel’s comfort. Concluding she will remain single and devote herself to work, she bitterly notes her parents’ prejudice has doomed their legacy since she will have no heir and will never reunite with Neil.

At home, Daniel’s hoodie and the heart-shaped rock remain untouched. The thought that Daniel might be moving on guts her. While most days she resists contacting him, this day she admits she cannot—implying she is about to reach out.