Contents
Chapter Thirty-Six
Overview
From Jasper’s perspective, au pairs were objects tied to his father’s sexual predation, fueling Jasper’s early sexualization and dissociative personas. A police inquiry briefly disrupts the pattern, prompting a year without au pairs while his father seeks sex elsewhere. Jasper ends by naming Claire Connolly’s June visit as the moment that shattered the family’s fragile equilibrium.
Summary
Jasper narrates how he never saw the household’s au pair girls as real people. As a child he used them as props for attention, then, as he grew older, he sexualized their presence, dissociating into other personas to avoid guilt. He remembers one au pair crying while he masturbated in front of her.
A police visit about an au pair jolts the household. Jasper’s father hides the family until the officers leave, then takes the au pair to town and returns claiming an “understanding” that will keep police away. The scare appears to rattle him.
For the next year, there are no au pairs. Jasper describes a fleeting normality: a cleaner visits; his parents seem calmer; his father goes out at night to meet women elsewhere, implying the pattern of abuse continues offsite.
Jasper concludes that this uneasy balance might have endured, but asserts that Claire Connolly’s arrival one sunny June afternoon “destroyed all our lives forever,” marking a turning point that will unravel the family.
Who Appears
- JasperNarrator; recalls dehumanizing au pairs, dissociative sexual behavior, and the family’s reaction to a police inquiry.
- Jasper’s fatherPredatory toward au pairs; hides from police, later claims an 'understanding' and shifts encounters outside the home.
- Jasper’s motherAppears during the household’s brief ‘normal’ year without au pairs; seems calmer in the aftermath.
- Claire ConnollyArrives one June afternoon; identified by Jasper as the catalyst that destroyed the family’s fragile stability.
- Au pair girlVictim of the household dynamic; one is questioned by police, another cries during Jasper’s voyeurism.
- Police officersVisit about an au pair; their inquiry prompts the family to hide and triggers a change in household routines.