Chapter Twenty-Five

Annie recalls meeting Allen as a teenager, secretly infatuated until they finally dated when she was nineteen. She paints Allen as attractive and stylish, and describes their early 1980s rockabilly scene, where their romance flourished. They married at Hampstead Town Hall and settled at Thornwood, which Allen renovated himself.

Annie qualified as a nurse but was more drawn to the image than the vocation. Their children, Jessamine and Jasper, arrived quickly and proved difficult. Annie’s mother became the primary caregiver, allowing Annie to remain focused on Allen and their glamorous life.

Annie acknowledges Allen’s dual nature—light and dark—and her own willingness to be controlled because it came with love. This balance held while her mother supported the household and the children.

When Annie’s mother died in 2000, the family’s structure collapsed. Allen asserted control by insisting on hiring au pairs and preventing Annie from cooking or cleaning. Annie, withdrawing from intimacy and domestic duties, initially accepted the arrangement.

Over time, the reliance on au pairs and Allen’s dominance eroded the marriage. Annie concludes that what once “made sense” ceased to, hinting that by the time she recognized the damage, it was already too late to reverse.