Chapter 44

In a “Before” scene, Ella eats in Dr. John Carter’s university kitchen after being mistaken for his daughter, Brittany. Dr. Carter arrives, recognizes Ella, accuses her of sneaking around his house, and firmly tells her to leave his family alone. He offers to drive her home; during the strained ride, Ella contemplates brandishing the knife in her backpack but stays silent.

At Ella’s cluttered home, Dr. Carter confronts her mother, Desiree, about Ella’s behavior. Pressed, Ella declares she knows Dr. Carter is her father from a birth certificate listing “John Carter.” Desiree counters that this John Carter is someone else with the same name, and Dr. Carter leaves quickly, shaken and eager to escape the scene.

After he departs, Desiree mocks Ella, recalling that Ella once pushed Brittany off a jungle gym, which is why Dr. Carter knows them. When Ella demands the truth, Desiree finally admits Ella’s biological father, also named John (Johnny) Carter, went to prison for assault when Ella was an infant and then abandoned them; Desiree destroyed his photos.

Crushed by rejection and public humiliation, and denied even a photo of her father, Ella flees to her room and cries herself to sleep, her anger, shame, and fixation on the Carter family hardening.