Contents
Chapter Thirteen: Alicia Berenson’s Diary
Overview
Alicia’s diary reveals a volatile argument with Gabriel over his rifle, her hidden longing and fear of motherhood, and increasing isolation. A dinner with Max turns predatory; Alicia bites him and chooses silence to protect Gabriel. Days later, on Alicia’s birthday, Gabriel proposes having a child, and Alicia joyfully agrees, briefly restoring hope.
Summary
Alicia records returning from the park emotionally fragile, confronting buried fears about motherhood. Finding Gabriel cleaning his rifle triggers a fierce argument that exposes Gabriel’s occasional aggression and Alicia’s terror of the gun. They reconcile the next morning, and Alicia briefly regains peace.
Seeking connection, Alicia writes from a café but dreads a surprise dinner with Gabriel’s brother, Max. At the barbecue, Max corners Alicia in the kitchen. When Alicia vows to tell Gabriel about a prior incident at Joel’s, Max minimizes, then grabs and kisses her; Alicia bites his tongue, and he threatens her. During dinner, Alicia remains silent, torn between honesty and protecting Gabriel’s image of his brother.
Alicia decides not to tell Gabriel for now, fearing it would devastate him, and suspects Max’s fixation is rooted in jealousy of Gabriel. Gabriel senses Alicia’s distance afterward, but she deflects, blaming work pressures.
On her thirty-third birthday, Gabriel gives Alicia roses and a dawn picnic beneath a willow that evokes a rare childhood comfort. Back home, Gabriel proposes having a baby, reversing his prior stance. Overwhelmed, Alicia agrees, ending the entry suffused with hope.
Who Appears
- Alicia BerensonDiary narrator; fights with Gabriel over his rifle, is assaulted by Max, chooses silence, and joyfully agrees to try for a baby.
- Gabriel BerensonAlicia’s husband; keeps a rifle despite her pleas, reconciles after argument, and proposes they have a child on her birthday.
- Max BerensonGabriel’s brother; corners and kisses Alicia against her will, is bitten, threatens her, exposing jealousy and hostility.