Chapter 36

Donna is in bed by 9:45 after an unsatisfying date with Gregor, a personal trainer who took her to Zizzi’s and spent the evening discussing his protein-shake routine. His claim that he does not believe in books confirms Donna’s boredom and irritation.

During the date, Donna thinks about Carl, her ex-boyfriend, and his new girlfriend, Toyota. Donna decides she does not still love Carl, and perhaps never did, but she remains hurt by his rejection. That lingering humiliation has affected Donna’s temper, shown in her memory of using excessive force while arresting a shoplifter.

Donna reflects that transferring to Fairhaven after Carl was a rash mistake, caused by fear and wounded pride. She recognizes her own decisiveness as both a strength and a liability. In that context, meeting the Thursday Murder Club feels like the first positive development in a long time, alongside the professional opportunity created by Tony Curran’s murder.

Donna posts a flattering photo with Gregor on Instagram to make Carl jealous, though she has spent much of the evening imagining how she might kill Gregor if necessary. When Gregor returns from the bathroom, Donna decides she will not stay the night in his room and prepares to leave.

Donna considers texting DCI Chris Hudson for a drink so they can discuss Elizabeth’s file and talk about Narcos, or calling Elizabeth instead to go over what Donna has understood. As Donna weighs those options, Donna realizes that the first word that comes to mind for Elizabeth is “friend,” though Donna is unsure whether that can really be right.