If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Jack — Three
Overview
At Finn’s wake, Jack joins teammates as pallbearers and confronts the reality of Finn’s closed casket amid an overwhelming crowd. Angelina’s mix of grief and pride steadies Jack, asking only that Finn be remembered. Jack’s resolve wavers as he contemplates carrying Finn’s coffin at the funeral.
Summary
Jack meets Coach and teammates outside the funeral home to confirm pallbearer duties. Coach emphasizes respect, the closed casket, and punctuality. When Coach privately checks on him, Jack insists he wants to help carry Finn, though the prospect unnerves him.
Inside, Jack arrives with his estranged, Catholic parents, feeling both supported and infantilized. The funeral home is overflowing, with lines stretching through both rooms for Finn alone. Jack reflects on Finn’s steady kindness and the painful shift to past tense.
A funeral home employee escorts Jack and his parents to the family area. The closed casket beneath Finn’s smiling senior portrait confronts Jack with finality. Angelina greets him warmly, tears mingling with a surprising, proud brightness as she recounts hearing stories that affirm Finn’s goodness.
Jack breaks down while imagining Finn’s electrocution and injuries, then steadies as Angelina holds him. She urges Jack to live, find friendship again, and never forget Finn. Jack agrees, recognizing that their shared mourning is a testament to Finn’s life.
Led back out by his parents, Jack feels small and unsure. As the night ends, he doubts whether he can carry Finn’s coffin tomorrow, measuring his grief against the duty he chose.
Who Appears
- Jack MurphyNarrator and pallbearer; grieves at Finn’s packed wake, comforts and is comforted by Angelina, doubts carrying the coffin.
- AngelinaFinn’s mother; tearful yet proud, shares stories, asks Jack to remember Finn, anchors the family receiving line.
- CoachTeam coach organizing pallbearers; sets rules about the closed casket and checks on Jack’s readiness.
- Funeral home employeeGuides Jack and his parents to the family, notes unprecedented turnout for a youth funeral.
- Jack’s fatherDistant but present; offers brief, formal support, accompanies Jack through the wake.
- Jack’s motherQuietly supportive; attends with Jack’s father despite tension, focuses on shepherding Jack.