If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Jack — Nine
Overview
Jack empties Finn’s car and discovers a hidden bag clearly meant for Autumn, intensifying his anger at her role in the chain of events that led to Finn’s death. He brings CDs and gear to Angelina, who plans to donate Finn’s things and reveals Autumn is delaying college. Jack keeps the jumper cables and secretly stashes the gift, torn between honoring Finn and resenting Autumn.
Summary
Preparing for college, Jack returns Angelina’s call and agrees to clear personal items from Finn’s towed car. At the lot, memories flood him as he sits with Finn’s keychain and the sight of the cracked windshield that injured Sylvie. He gathers CDs, an umbrella presumed to be Sylvie’s, jumper cables, and a first aid kit.
Trash in the usually immaculate car leads Jack to a carefully hidden bag under the seat. Linking it to Finn’s stated errand and his certainty about Autumn’s love, Jack realizes the bag was intended for Autumn. The discovery fuels Jack’s resentment, as he blames Autumn’s involvement and Finn’s guilt for keeping them out late in the storm.
Jack visits Angelina, who gratefully accepts the items and asks Jack to keep the CDs. Holding the first aid kit, she confides her “if only” grief and her decision to donate Finn’s belongings, believing that’s what he would have wanted.
Angelina explains that Autumn isn’t ready to part with many items and will keep the jeans from Finn’s floor. She also reveals Autumn isn’t coming to Springfield this year and needs more time. Jack offers support and well-wishes, sharing a quiet moment of mutual care with Angelina.
Leaving, Jack puts Finn’s jumper cables in his trunk but keeps the hidden bag under his own seat. He can’t discard it, seeing it as both a tether to Finn and a symbol of how pursuing Autumn shaped the night of the accident. He chooses silence, neither telling Angelina nor delivering the gift.
Who Appears
- JackNarrator; clears Finn’s car, finds a hidden gift for Autumn, resents her, comforts Angelina, keeps jumper cables, hides the gift.
- AngelinaFinn’s mother; asks Jack to empty the car, grieves, plans to donate Finn’s things, says Autumn is delaying college.
- FinnDeceased friend; presence felt through his car, CDs, first aid kit, and a hidden bag intended for Autumn.
- AutumnFinn’s love; implied recipient of the hidden bag; not ready to let go of his items; postponing college; focus of Jack’s resentment.
- SylvieFinn’s girlfriend at the time of the crash; her umbrella is in the car; her injury haunts Jack’s memories.