If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Finn — Three
Overview
Finn recounts how his childhood love for Autumn deepened, then faltered in middle school as she drifted away and he met Jack. A bold New Year’s kiss leaves Autumn stunned and bruised, rupturing their bond. Guided by his mother, Finn gives Autumn space, works on himself, and sustains camaraderie with Jack.
Summary
Finn describes falling in love with Autumn from early childhood, convinced they would always be together. As middle school begins, class schedules separate them and Autumn forms new friendships, while Finn eats lunch alone until he meets Jack, bonding over Paolo Maldini and soccer.
Autumn receives an early cell phone from her father, Tom, and grows distant. Finn overcompensates by inviting Jack to his home to prove his long history with Autumn, but realizes the closeness has faded. During winter break, Autumn seems to return to him, renewing Finn’s hope.
Inspired by When Harry Met Sally, Finn plans to kiss Autumn at midnight on New Year’s. He impulsively grabs her arm and gives an awkward kiss; Autumn is shocked and pulls away. The next day, seeing light bruises on her arm, Finn recognizes he held her too hard, feels ashamed, and withdraws.
At school, when Finn nearly breaks down, Jack hustles him outside and listens, cementing their friendship. Finn then leaves Autumn alone until Valentine’s Day, when he sends carnations—one named and one anonymous—while receiving none himself.
Finn’s mother later counsels him to focus on school, soccer, and his own well-being, accepting that relationships ebb and flow. Finn resolves to improve himself and give Autumn space, watching from afar. A year later, he marks Valentine’s Day with a joking white carnation to Jack signed “Paola,” signaling resilience in their friendship.
Who Appears
- FinnNarrator; details lifelong love for Autumn, failed New Year’s kiss causing a bruise, and resolves to improve himself.
- Autumn RoseChildhood friend and crush; grows distant in middle school, shocked by Finn’s kiss, later kept at arm’s length.
- JackNew middle-school friend bonded over soccer; supports Finn after the kiss incident and shares humorous camaraderie.
- Finn’s motherOffers compassionate advice to focus on growth and give Autumn space; present at family gatherings.
- Aunt ClaireAutumn’s mother and Finn’s mom’s best friend; part of “The Mothers” household context.
- Tom (Autumn’s father)Gives Autumn an early cell phone; hosts New Year’s Day brunch where Finn notices her bruises.
- AlexisAutumn’s new middle-school friend; mentioned in rumors that fuel Finn’s insecurities.