If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Jack — Twelve
Overview
Jack moves into college with his parents, confronting Finn’s absence when the RA removes Finn’s name and a TV from Mr. Smith arrives. A calm dinner and goodbye steady him. Back in the dorm, Jack meets new roommate Brett and his teary parents, retreats to the showers, and ends the day listening to Finn’s music.
Summary
Jack departs for college with his parents, deciding to let them come along. The drive is awkward at first but warms into rare one-on-one time, with both parents pointedly avoiding talk of Finn. At the dorm, RA Josh removes Finn’s misspelled name from the door and explains a reassignment, underscoring Finn’s absence. Jack claims the bed farthest from the hall.
While settling in, Jack learns Mr. Smith bought Finn a TV as a move-in present and that Jack’s mom accepted it for him. The oversized TV feels like another reminder of Finn and his father’s grand gestures. Jack helps his dad set it up, then goes to dinner with his parents at their habitual Chinese restaurant, where the familiarity comforts him and they set a new record for not bickering.
After a firm but tender goodbye, Jack reflects on his newfound autonomy but chooses to return to his room. He finds a new name—Brett—on the door and walks in on Brett and his parents, whose mother is tearful about leaving her son. Feeling prickly about their display, Jack avoids engagement by taking a long shower and examining his own reaction, comparing their emotions to Angelina’s grief for Finn.
Later, Jack returns to a quieter hallway. Brett is reading the student manual and keeps to himself, which suits Jack. Jack gets into bed, listens to Finn’s Tom Petty CD, and falls asleep, ending his first night at college still anchored to Finn’s memory.
Who Appears
- JackProtagonist; moves into college, confronts Finn’s absence, receives Mr. Smith’s TV, avoids emotional displays, and ends the day listening to Finn’s music.
- Mom (Carole)Accompanies Jack, keeps the peace, delivers news of Mr. Smith’s TV gift, offers a steady, supportive farewell.
- Dad (George)Helps with move-in and mounting the TV; shares an unusually calm dinner and goodbye with Jack.
- Josh (RA)Removes Finn’s name from the door, explains the reassignment, welcomes Jack to the floor.
- Brett CarterNewly assigned roommate; quiet, focused on the student manual, provides low-engagement coexistence Jack prefers.
- Mrs. CarterBrett’s mother; tearful during move-in, her emotion triggers Jack’s complicated reaction to others’ displays.
- Mr. CarterBrett’s father; reserved during move-in, lets Brett and Mrs. Carter lead the interaction.
- Mr. SmithFinn’s father; absent but sends a large TV intended for Finn, highlighting his grand, distanced gestures.
- FinnDeceased friend; absence shapes Jack’s move-in, symbolized by the removed name tag and Tom Petty CD.