If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Finn — Eleven
Overview
Finn recalls the day Sylvie confided she’d been groomed by a teacher and asked for a boyfriend who chose her unequivocally. He told Sylvie he loved her but avoided promising exclusivity, laying the seed of future hurt. In the present, after a night with Autumn, Finn prepares to tell Sylvie he’s choosing Autumn.
Summary
Finn opens by noting he finally has something concrete to tell Sylvie: he is choosing Autumn. He flashes back to the last day of freshman year, when Sylvie noticed his reactions to Autumn and Jamie and pressed him about it.
At a burger place and later on a hill, Sylvie revealed that a former teacher, Mr. Wilbur, had groomed and manipulated her, isolating her and sexualizing her under the guise of tutoring. She now sees a therapist, Dr. Giles, and recognizes how seeking validation led to attention-seeking choices, like the Ferris wheel incident.
Sylvie explains she wants normal high school experiences—cheer, dances, parties—and a boyfriend who makes her feel secure. She asks Finn to confirm he truly wants her and doesn’t want anyone else. Finn tells Sylvie he respects and loves her and promises shared high school milestones, but he avoids saying he wants only her.
Returning to the present morning, Finn lies beside a sleeping Autumn, aware he must tell Sylvie that he is choosing Autumn over her. He drifts in and out of sleep, reaching for Autumn and silently whispering that he loves her.
Who Appears
- FinnNarrator; recalls Sylvie’s past and his evasive promises; now plans to choose Autumn and end things with Sylvie.
- SylvieGirlfriend; reveals grooming by Mr. Wilbur, seeks security and exclusivity; hears Finn say he loves her without that promise.
- AutumnChildhood friend and true love; sleeps beside Finn after their reconciliation as he resolves to tell Sylvie.
- Mr. WilburSylvie’s former teacher; groomed and manipulated her, causing lasting issues with validation and trust.
- Jamie AllenAutumn’s showy boyfriend during freshman year; triggers Sylvie’s questions about Finn’s reactions.
- Dr. GilesSylvie’s therapist; helps her understand her validation-seeking and need for security.
- AlexisGirl Sylvie kissed on a Ferris wheel; incident discussed as attention-seeking behavior.