If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Jack — Seven
Overview
A week after the funeral, Jack forces himself to run and is flooded with memories of Finn. His grief turns to anger as he fixates on why Sylvie wasn’t wearing a seat belt. Jack confronts Sylvie by text; she can’t remember and blames herself. Jack ultimately softens, telling her the rain was at fault, signaling a fragile step toward acceptance.
Summary
A week after Finn’s funeral, Jack receives texts from his brother Charlie, who checks on him and pressures him to keep running and start packing for college. Feeling obligated, Jack drives to a park with a lake to avoid routes saturated with memories of running with Finn.
As Jack runs, memories of Finn surface—how Finn pushed and reassured him, and how they approached running differently. Grief spirals into frustration over Finn leaving the car during the storm and confusion about the crash, especially given Finn’s cautious driving.
Jack fixates on one detail: Sylvie went through the windshield, implying she wasn’t wearing a seat belt—something Finn would never allow. Fueled by anger and questions, he texts Sylvie: “Why weren’t you wearing a seat belt?” and continues running hard to exhaust the rage.
When Jack stops after forty-five minutes, he finds four messages from Sylvie: she can’t remember, she’s sorry, and she blames herself despite the memory gap. Considering what Finn would say, Jack replies, “It was the rain’s fault.” Sylvie does not respond, leaving the exchange unresolved but hinting at Jack’s tentative shift from blame toward compassion.
Who Appears
- JackNarrator; pushes himself to run, wrestles with grief and anger, confronts Sylvie about her seat belt, then offers compassion.
- SylvieTexted by Jack; can’t remember pre-crash moments, apologizes and blames herself; receives Jack’s conciliatory reply.
- CharlieJack’s older brother; checks in by text and nudges Jack to run and start packing.
- FinnDeceased friend; remembered during Jack’s run for safety habits and influence, intensifying Jack’s questions about the crash.