If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Finn — Thirteen
Overview
Finn and Autumn spend a tender afternoon together, exchanging true stories and imagining an alternate Halloween where they might have started sooner. They repeatedly affirm their love and negotiate intimacy boundaries. Finn confirms he will meet Sylvie after seven to end their relationship, committing fully to Autumn.
Summary
As afternoon wanes, Finn notes Sylvie’s text confirming he can pick her up after seven, underscoring his plan to end their relationship that night. He and Autumn lie together, having spent hours kissing and exploring each other, and she repeatedly tells him she loves him, a fact Finn is finally accepting.
Autumn asks for true stories from when they didn’t recognize their love. Finn admits he secretly chose the tiara she received years ago. Autumn recalls a Valentine’s Day visit when Finn, feverish and shirtless, thought she’d brought him a valentine; both reveal they misread each other’s signals, exposing long-standing mutual desire.
They confess private attractions—Autumn to Finn’s body at games and around the house; Finn to Autumn’s presence everywhere—and Finn describes being mesmerized by her on Halloween. Together, they imagine an alternate version of that night where a spilled drink leads to a clandestine upstairs make-out, whispered confessions, and the next day’s fallout, including necessary breakups and rumors.
The hypothetical reinforces their present resolve: Finn must break up with Sylvie, and Autumn would have broken up with Jamie. Finn wishes they had started sooner; Autumn reassures him they are together now. They affirm nicknames—she calls him “Finny,” he slips into calling her “beloved”—and promise a future together.
As they consider showering, Autumn shyly declines, revealing boundaries around intimacy, and she refuses to dress in front of him. Finn respects this, decides to buy condoms that night to be prepared, and they exchange more I-love-yous before he gets up to leave for his difficult conversation with Sylvie.
Who Appears
- Finn (Finny)Narrator; spends an intimate afternoon with Autumn, shares past truths, vows love, and prepares to break up with Sylvie after seven.
- AutumnReaffirms love, shares confessions and a Halloween what-if, sets intimacy boundaries, and chooses a future with Finn.
- SylvieOff-page presence; texts Finn to confirm a pickup after seven, prompting his planned breakup.
- JamieMentioned in Autumn and Finn’s Halloween what-if as her then-boyfriend; a contrast to her feelings for Finn.