If He Had Been with Me, #2
If Only I Had Told Her
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Jack — Six
Overview
After the burial, Jack lingers and speaks with Sylvie, who reveals dissociative amnesia around the crash and admits she both loves and hates Finn. They reassess Alexis’s immaturity, visit poet Sara Teasdale’s grave, and reflect on Autumn’s absence by choice. As rain begins, Sylvie insists on driving, signaling ongoing trauma and control.
Summary
After the funeral crowd disperses, Jack lingers near Angelina as condolences wind down. Sylvie approaches, outwardly recovered except for bruises, and Jack apologizes vaguely. Sylvie states nothing was his fault and downplays their relationship, prompting Jack to defend Finn’s love for her. She replies she both loves and hates Finn.
Sylvie reveals doctors diagnosed dissociative amnesia around the crash despite a normal concussion; she cannot recall calling 911 or seeing Finn’s face. She mentions switching from Dr. Giles, who distrusted Finn and called the relationship codependent. They watch Angelina leave, and Jack privately regrets indulging Alexis’s gossip.
Walking deeper into the cemetery, Sylvie challenges Jack to stop falling for Alexis’s provocations; together they acknowledge Alexis’s immaturity and how Jack had outgrown her. Sylvie consults a map to find Sara Teasdale’s grave, recites a brief poem, and explains discovering Teasdale’s work abroad, appreciating its directness.
Jack says Finn would have loved Sylvie’s purposeful visit and her no-nonsense view of poetry. Sylvie counters that Finn loved Autumn differently, and both accept this. Sylvie wonders where Autumn was; Jack explains Autumn wanted Sylvie to have the funeral, which Sylvie respects.
As wind and rain approach, they return toward Finn’s grave and hurry to Sylvie’s car. Sylvie insists on driving because she cannot ride with others after the crash. Jack looks back, imagining Autumn will later visit Finn’s grave as the rain begins.
Who Appears
- JackNarrator; lingers after burial, comforts and challenges Sylvie, reassesses Alexis, honors Finn’s memory, accepts Sylvie driving.
- SylvieFinn’s girlfriend; concussed with dissociative amnesia, conflicted love/anger, critiques Alexis, visits Sara Teasdale’s grave, insists on driving.
- FinnDeceased friend; subject of grief and love triangle, buried as rain begins; his memory guides Jack and Sylvie’s reflections.
- AutumnFinn’s love; absent from funeral service by choice, said Sylvie should have the funeral; expected to visit the grave later.
- AngelinaAutumn’s mother; receives condolences, departs with a friend after the burial.
- CoachOffers support at burial; Jack tells him he’ll find another ride home.
- AlexisJack’s ex; discussed as immature and provocative, straining past relationships.
- Dr. GilesSylvie’s former therapist; distrusted Finn and labeled the relationship codependent.
- Sara TeasdaleDeceased poet; her grave and poem provide Sylvie focus and solace.