Cover of This Inevitable Ruin (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #7)

Dungeon Crawler Carl, #7

This Inevitable Ruin

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Humor and Comedy
Year
2024
Pages
801
Contents

Chapter 67

Overview

Carl infiltrates the Madness castle with a small strike team while Donut keeps Harpocrates distracted through insults and music so the giant crawler-ball can reach the corpse field. Inside the castle, Carl discovers that Architect Houston is likely in the operating theater with Burcu, a dead crawler named Zeynep, and trapped rooms, while other crawlers appear conscripted into the Madness forces. The chapter shifts the action from battlefield chaos to a direct castle assault, ending as enemy soldiers converge on Carl’s invulnerable group.

Summary

Carl watches Donut’s giant ball of flesh roll toward the corpse field beyond the Madness castle while Harpocrates follows it. Wanting to reach the castle first, Carl stores Rend, uses invisibility potions on Carl, Jamal, Gonk, and Dong, and leads the group through the trap field at high speed. Donut insists the ball must reach the corpses before Harpocrates breaks it open, so Carl asks Britney to have the Dream castle’s digger distract the god.

As Carl approaches the castle, Carl notes that Baroness Victory and Juice Box are deliberately prolonging a trial elsewhere, though Carl does not understand why. The castle’s protections cancel the party’s invisibility, but Carl reaches a disguised rear door, disables three traps, forces it open, and enters a garage-like room with dune buggies. Carl releases Rend inside the Castle of the Madness.

Outside, Donut uses the battlefield PA system to insult Harpocrates and play “Lollipop,” successfully making the god stop and cover his ears. Donut turns the distraction into a battle playlist, buying the ball roughly ten more minutes to reach the corpse field while the digger approaches. Carl, Jamal, Dong, Bigs, and Rend prepare to clear the castle quickly so they can be positioned when the larger force arrives.

Inside, Carl casts Ping and learns the castle holds about twenty soldiers, only three of them offworlders. Most are gathered nearby, while Architect Houston appears to be in the operating theater with a white NPC, a living crawler, and a crawler corpse. Carl’s Book of Voodoo updates, revealing three crawlers: two conscripted into the Madness military, the dead crawler Zeynep, and Burcu, who is alive but not conscripted in the operating theater.

Carl tries to message Burcu, but the system blocks the message as illegal coordination. Burcu nevertheless updates Carl’s Book of Voodoo with a map of the surgical theater and fireball traps, but the AI slams the book shut and warns Carl to stop exploiting the loophole. As Donut’s playlist briefly backfires by making Harpocrates turn back toward the ball, the enemy soldiers begin moving toward Carl’s group and launch psionic attacks that fail to affect them. The chapter ends with the soldiers entering the room and Carl, still invulnerable, ready to fight.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Leads the strike team into the Madness castle and discovers Houston, Burcu, and enemy positions.
  • Donut
    Controls the giant flesh ball and distracts Harpocrates with insults, music, and battlefield coordination.
  • Harpocrates
    Pursues the giant ball, seeking his stolen body part, but is delayed by Donut’s PA assault.
  • Rend
    Carl’s meatball companion, carried to the castle and released before the impending fight.
  • Jamal
    Accompanies Carl into the castle with mechanical spider legs and benefits from Carl’s invisibility potion.
  • Dong Quixote
    Rides Gonk with Carl’s team, remains invulnerable, and helps approach the castle.
  • Gonk
    Dong’s yak mount, made invisible with its riders during the castle approach.
  • Bigs
    Travels with Carl’s group and reacts to Donut’s distant battle music.
  • Burcu
    Crawler found in Houston’s operating theater; secretly sketches trap information through Carl’s Book of Voodoo.
  • Architect Houston
    Likely purple offworlder in the operating theater, central target within the Madness castle.
  • Zeynep
    Dead crawler discovered in the operating theater; previously known to Carl from the Desperado Club.
  • Britney
    Relays Carl’s request for Arief to use the Dream castle digger against Harpocrates.
  • Baroness Victory
    Explains that Juice Box’s trial is being deliberately stalled to provoke the AI.
  • Louis
    Elsewhere on the Reaver castle, gathers unstable explosives while avoiding engagement.
  • Samantha
    Moves toward Louis as he runs across the Reaver castle.
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