If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 44
Overview
While home alone with her mother hospitalized, Autumn hosts friends for drinks and gets drunk. She privately calls Finny, invites him to visit her mother, and promises not to have sex with Jamie while intoxicated, reaffirming her plan to wait until after graduation. The next day brings hangovers, quiet relief, and an evening hospital visit with Finny and Aunt Angelina, underscoring Autumn’s divided loyalties and need for support.
Summary
With her mother still in the hospital and her father away, Autumn hosts Jamie, Brooke, Alex, Sasha, Noah, and Angie for rum and Coke at her house. The group toasts and watches a spy movie as the alcohol loosens them into playful, sloppy antics. Jamie keeps licking Autumn’s arm as a joke, and Autumn, tipsy and buoyant, retreats upstairs to wash and to escape the noise.
Hiding in the clawfoot bathtub, Autumn calls Finny to tell him she’s drunk and to invite him to visit her mother with the family the next evening. Finny, surprised and concerned, asks her to drink water and pointedly makes her promise not to have sex with Jamie while drunk. Autumn agrees and also admits her plan to have sex with Jamie after graduation, which Finny meets with wary questions before urging her to stop drinking more.
Autumn returns to the living room with a glass of water, cuddles against Jamie, and finishes the night without crossing the boundary she promised Finny. She and Jamie sleep in her bed without having sex, while Angie and Alex are sick in the morning. Autumn and Jamie feel better, fry eggs, and the group quietly watches the news before dispersing, leaving Autumn relieved to have the house back to herself.
That evening, Autumn dresses and joins Aunt Angelina and Finny for the hospital visit. She refuses the front seat, listens to oldies without singing, and watches the back of Finny’s head as they arrive, comforted that he is there because she asked—and because he intended to come anyway.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; hosts friends, gets drunk, calls Finny, promises no drunk sex, plans to wait until after graduation, visits her mother.
- FinnyTakes Autumn’s late call; urges water and restraint; secures her promise; joins Aunt Angelina for the hospital visit.
- JamieAutumn’s boyfriend; drinks, teases by licking her arm, sleeps beside her without sex, avoids a hangover.
- BrookeFriend; supplies alcohol via her sister and refills drinks during the gathering.
- AlexFriend; jokingly styles Sasha’s hair while drinking; later hungover.
- SashaFriend; lets Alex style her hair, relaxes with the group.
- NoahFriend; drinks with the group and approves of the rum and Coke.
- AngieFriend; drinks with the group and is vomiting the next morning.
- Aunt AngelinaChecks on Autumn; later drives with Finny and Autumn to visit Autumn’s hospitalized mother.