If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 34
Overview
Autumn comes home to a misaddressed brochure about a creative writing major, prompting her to question her safe teaching plan. She accompanies her mother to Finny’s first soccer game. When Finny takes a hard fall, the scare crystallizes Autumn’s truth: she is in love with Finny. The moment also steels her resolve to seriously pursue publication.
Summary
On a cool September afternoon, Autumn returns home alone, noticing college brochures left on the table. She finds one for Springfield’s creative writing major, likely misrecorded from a college fair, and it stirs an ache for authorship beyond her safer plan to teach.
Autumn’s mother invites her to Finny’s first soccer game, and Autumn reluctantly agrees, bringing the brochure along. On the bleachers before kickoff, she rereads it and reflects on being a writer versus becoming published, chafing at adults’ expectations of safe, practical paths.
The game begins, and Autumn watches Finny on defense, remembering his childhood focus and protective nature. When an opposing player slips in the mud and collides with Finny, he flips hard and appears to land on his neck. Fear floods Autumn; coaches and referees rush over. Finny eventually stands and waves to signal he is all right.
The scare strips away Autumn’s denial. In the surge of panic and relief, she recognizes that her lifelong love for Finny has matured into romantic love that fills every part of her. As play resumes, she can only pretend to read the brochure, newly resolved that she must truly try for publication rather than settle for writing only in summers.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; receives a creative writing brochure, questions safe plans, attends Finny’s game, panics at his fall, realizes she’s in love with him.
- FinnyPlays defense in his first soccer game; takes a hard fall, then signals he’s okay; prompts Autumn’s realization of love.
- Autumn’s motherInvites Autumn to the game, watches from the bleachers, shares concern when Finny falls.