If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 53
Overview
During a stream-of-consciousness exercise, Autumn confronts her strongest memory: Finny unexpectedly kissed her on New Year’s Eve in eighth grade. The moment thrilled and frightened her, left bruises from his grip, and shattered their friendship. This revelation reframes their long-standing distance and Autumn’s current turmoil.
Summary
In English class, Mr. Laughegan orders a nonstop stream-of-consciousness write about each student’s strongest memory. Autumn resists when her mind jumps to Finny kissing her, but she continues, compelled by the assignment.
The narrative shifts to eighth grade. After months of drifting apart, Christmas reunites their families and briefly restores Autumn and Finny’s easy closeness. They share movies, games, and plans for a summer tree house. On New Year’s Eve, amid fireworks, Finny grabs Autumn’s arm and kisses her, gentle but unexpected, leaving her stunned and confused.
Autumn flees inside, crying in private as she repeats, “What are you doing?” The next morning, they sit apart in silence. She notices four round bruises where Finny’s grip held her and concludes they are no longer friends.
Back in class, Autumn finishes writing as the timer ends, left to confront whether this painful, defining memory is the true story of their fracture.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; forced by a writing prompt to recall Finny’s unexpected New Year’s kiss and its fallout.
- FinnyChildhood friend; kisses Autumn on New Year’s Eve in eighth grade, unsettling her and straining their bond.
- Mr. LaugheganEnglish teacher; assigns the stream-of-consciousness exercise that triggers Autumn’s memory.
- Aunt AngelinaFinny’s mother; hosts New Year’s, calls the kids inside just after the kiss.