If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 35
Overview
Autumn discovers a massive leaf pile Finny raked and impulsively dives in, prompting a tense yet tender exchange. Memories of their childhood leaf-jumping surface, underscoring Autumn’s enduring love. They acknowledge their separate “family dinner” obligations and part amicably, signaling closeness without resolution and the persistence of unspoken feelings.
Summary
Waiting for her parents’ weekly “Family Dinner,” Autumn spots a huge leaf pile on the lawn and, giddy from a productive writing day, throws herself into it. The jump recalls childhood games with Finny and their old competitions to build and destroy ever-bigger piles.
Finny arrives, initially annoyed because he spent all afternoon raking both yards. After a brief scolding, his irritation fades into amusement. The shift from anger to ease crystallizes for Autumn how little has truly changed: she still loves Finny, and his friendly smile suggests distance rather than reciprocation.
They talk lightly as Autumn cleans leaves from her hair and tiara. Finny quotes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same,” capturing their stalemate. Autumn mentions her father’s push for “Family Dinners,” and Finny notes his own father has scheduled a dinner with him and Angelina next month; he calls it “okay,” which reassures Autumn he isn’t pinning fragile hopes on reconciliation.
As Autumn’s parents arrive, she silently affirms her love for Finny. They exchange parting wishes—each understanding the subtext—and walk away in opposite directions. From the car, Autumn’s mother assumes they were jumping together; Autumn denies it, even as she glimpses Finny rising from the scattered leaves, a quiet echo of their shared past.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; impulsively jumps into Finny’s raked leaves, recalls childhood, acknowledges enduring love, and heads to a family dinner.
- FinnyFinds Autumn in the leaf pile he raked; irritation turns to amusement; shares small talk about family dinners; parts amicably.
- Autumn’s momPicks Autumn up for Family Dinner; assumes Autumn and Finny were jumping in the leaves.
- Autumn’s dadInitiated weekly Family Dinners; arrives to take Autumn out with her mother.