If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 73
Overview
Autumn wakes beside Finny after days of late nights and quiet closeness, privately admitting she loves him. As they edge toward a deeper conversation, Finny gets a late call from “Syl—,” withdraws, and grows distant. The interruption halts their momentum; after dinner with The Mothers, Autumn leaves alone.
Summary
Autumn wakes in Finny’s bed amid signs of their easy companionship—an empty pizza box, a paused game, her book on his nightstand. She recalls their late-night grocery trip, checking blood pressure, and celebrating with gummy worms and the last of the whiskey, noting she has lunch with her dad tomorrow.
Watching Finny sleep, Autumn remembers their shared chickenpox as kids and quietly apologizes for “ruining” what they had. She whispers that she loves him, then pretends to sleep as Finny wakes. They greet each other and lie still, the unspoken tension heavy between them.
When Finny senses something is wrong and begins to press, his phone rings. He stiffens at a call from “Syl—,” apparently in another time zone, and steps out to talk privately. The call breaks the fragile opening between them and leaves Autumn waiting.
Finny returns only to say The Mothers want them for dinner, avoiding Autumn’s eyes. After the meal, Autumn goes home; Finny’s window is already dark, signaling renewed distance just as intimacy had seemed possible.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; wakes beside Finny, recalls childhood closeness, silently admits love, and feels shut out after his late-night call.
- FinnyLies beside Autumn in quiet intimacy, then takes a late call from “Syl—,” withdraws, and later invites her to dinner with The Mothers.
- “Syl—”Caller who phones Finny from another time zone, prompting him to leave the room and creating distance.
- The MothersInvite Autumn and Finny to dinner, providing a formal pause after the disrupted intimate moment.