If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 18
Overview
Autumn bonds with her English teacher, who mentors her reading and writing. Jamie’s anniversary gift—a charm bracelet promising a shared future—deepens their relationship but also exposes his jealousy. A private birthday greeting from Finny triggers Autumn’s realization that her love for him is unique and enduring, complicating her loyalties.
Summary
Autumn shares Honors English with Jamie, Sasha, Finny, Sylvie, and others. She rebels charmingly by reading David Copperfield at Mr. Laughegan’s desk, and the teacher indulges her curiosity, lends books, and encourages her interest in writing.
On her one-year anniversary, Jamie gives Autumn a silver charm bracelet with an engraved heart and a turtle, promising yearly charms for life milestones. His certainty moves Autumn, and she feels genuine love for Jamie in that moment.
Back at school, Autumn proudly shares Mr. Laughegan’s praise on her paper. She declares she “loves” him in a simple, non-romantic way, which Jamie mocks, hinting at his insecurity.
On Autumn’s birthday, Finny quietly wishes her happy birthday in the hall, avoiding eye contact. During class, Mr. Laughegan lets Autumn sit at his desk, where her vantage reveals Finny clearly. Looking at Finny, Autumn recognizes an enduring, singular love for him—distinct from her love for Jamie or anyone else—an unsettling truth she can barely name.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; excels in Honors English, bonds with Mr. Laughegan, celebrates anniversary with Jamie, and realizes a unique, enduring love for Finny.
- JamieAutumn’s boyfriend; witty in class, gives a charm bracelet symbolizing lifelong commitment, shows jealousy over her affection for the teacher.
- Mr. LaugheganHonors English teacher; indulges Autumn’s quirks, lends books, praises her work, and encourages her writing aspirations.
- FinnyChildhood friend; quietly wishes Autumn happy birthday, prompting her to confront her deep, singular love for him.
- SylvieFinny’s girlfriend; present in Honors English, part of the social context surrounding Autumn and Finny.
- SashaFriend in Honors English; shares class dynamics with Autumn and Jamie.
- JackClassmate who calls Autumn weird when she reads at the teacher’s desk.
- BrookeFriend at lunch; humors Autumn’s excitement over Mr. Laughegan’s comments.
- NoahFriend at lunch; agrees that Mr. Laughegan is cool.