If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 46
Overview
During a campus visit, Autumn and Finny share a private moment by a fountain that underscores their lingering bond and unspoken feelings. On the drive home, their mothers’ reminiscences clash with Autumn’s memories, and Finny quietly corrects the story. Finny hints at med school in New York, signaling diverging futures as an unseen photo preserves their closeness.
Summary
After the campus tour, Autumn and Finny pause by a fountain while their mothers wander taking photos. In the sun and spray, Finny asks Autumn what she thinks. She admits uncertainty about being happy there; Finny insists she would, citing the trees, revealing his wish for her comfort.
On the drive home, Finny takes the wheel at Aunt Angelina’s invitation, and Autumn rides up front. In the back, their mothers grow nostalgic, recalling early childhood moments—especially a kindergarten story where Autumn supposedly ran off bravely while Finny clung to the door. Autumn doubts it, remembering her fear of losing Finny, but Finny quietly confirms, “It was you,” complicating Autumn’s self-image.
Returning to the fountain earlier, Autumn asks Finny’s opinion. He likes the campus, appreciating its nearness to home, but mentions he might go to New York for medical school. Autumn imagines herself married to Jamie and living back in Ferguson, sensing how their paths may diverge despite closeness.
They joke about black turtlenecks and coffee, sharing laughter. Unseen, their mothers capture a distant photo of them at the fountain—Autumn looking down, Finny looking at her—suggesting an everyday intimacy neither fully claims.
As they drive, Autumn watches the trees rush past like markers of distance, measuring how far they have traveled from what they were toward uncertain, separating futures.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; uncertain about the campus, reflects on fear of losing Finny and on diverging futures.
- FinnyShares a quiet moment with Autumn, drives home, corrects a childhood story, contemplates New York for med school.
- MomAutumn’s mother; reminisces about childhood, including a kindergarten memory of Autumn’s supposed bravery.
- Aunt AngelinaFinny’s mother; offers Finny the car keys and joins in nostalgic stories and photos.