If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 10
Overview
Locked out, Autumn waits at Finny’s, their awkward distance underscored by his call to Sylvie. Aunt Angelina quietly warns Autumn that her mother is having a hard day after Autumn’s father cancels dinner. Memories of past hospitalization resurface. After an uneasy evening, Autumn calls Jamie, fears genetic depression, and leans on his repeated assurances.
Summary
Autumn realizes she left her keys at school and, with her mom out until evening, goes next door to Finny’s. The two sit in uneasy silence while Finny flips channels and Autumn pretends to read. Finny takes a call—clearly Sylvie—and tells her “I love you,” heightening Autumn’s sense of distance.
When Aunt Angelina arrives, she playfully teases Finny about his green socks, then privately tells Autumn that her mother is not having a good day because Autumn’s father canceled dinner. Autumn, recalling her mother’s past hospitalizations for depression, understands the gravity and resolves to be careful that evening.
A memory surfaces: during a previous hospitalization in sixth grade, Finny secretly lay beside Autumn at night tracing pictures on her back, a quiet comfort sanctioned for “fifteen minutes” by Aunt Angelina. The recollection underscores their former intimacy compared to their current superficial exchanges.
Autumn’s mother skips the gym and joins at Aunt Angelina’s for pizza in front of the TV. Afterward, Autumn goes home and calls Jamie. She breaks down, voicing fears about hospitalization and the heredity of depression. Jamie repeats that he will always love and take care of her, offering steady reassurance.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; locked out, waits at Finny’s, learns her mother is struggling, recalls past hospitalization, later cries to Jamie about inherited depression fears.
- Finny (Phineas)Hosts Autumn awkwardly; takes a call with Sylvie affirming love; shares muted concern and past closeness recalled by Autumn.
- Aunt AngelinaWelcomes Autumn, gently alerts her to Mom’s bad day after Dad cancels dinner; provides a safe, casual dinner environment.
- JamieOn the phone, comforts Autumn as she cries, repeatedly promising lifelong love and care.
- Autumn’s motherOff-page presence in crisis; affected by Dad canceling dinner, echoing past depression hospitalizations.
- SylvieHeard via Finny’s phone call; her relationship with Finny emphasizes Autumn and Finny’s distance.