If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 57
Overview
At Christmas, Finny reaches out to rekindle intentional time with Autumn, but she refuses out of loyalty to Jamie, deepening their emotional impasse. During dinner, Autumn learns her father won’t return that night, introducing fresh family instability. The evening ends in strained quiet, underscoring missed chances and growing fractures.
Summary
On their last Christmas before college, The Mothers grow sentimental while Autumn receives a laptop and Finny a car sound system. At Aunt Angelina’s, Autumn and Finny watch It’s a Wonderful Life, sharing small jokes and unspoken understanding as autumn reflects on his final high school soccer game and her complicated feelings.
In the kitchen, Autumn retrieves warm sodas, noting Jamie’s discomfort with her closeness to Finny. Back on the couch, Finny admits he will miss gym class with Autumn and suggests they hang out by choice, like seeing a movie. Autumn, torn by desire and loyalty to Jamie, declines, calling it “weird,” and flees to the bathroom to stifle tears.
Called to dinner, they discover a place setting removed. Autumn’s mother reveals Autumn’s father has called to say he won’t be returning that night. Finny gently coaxes Autumn to the table, and he and Aunt Angelina keep conversation going while The Mothers manage their emotions in the kitchen.
After dinner, Autumn and Finny watch TV in silence until midnight, their earlier openness closed off by Autumn’s refusal and the shock of her father’s absence.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator torn between feelings for Finny and loyalty to Jamie; learns her father won’t return on Christmas night.
- FinnySuggests hanging out with Autumn beyond family dinners; rebuffed, then quietly supports her at dinner.
- Aunt AngelinaHosts Christmas; keeps dinner conversation going and comforts Autumn’s mother.
- Autumn’s motherGrows sentimental about college; reveals Autumn’s father won’t be returning that night.
- Autumn’s fatherAbsent on Christmas; calls to say he will not come back that night, unsettling the family.