If He Had Been with Me
by Laura Nowlin
Contents
Chapter 24
Overview
After Christmas break, Angie is heartbroken from a breakup, while Finny and Sylvie’s split creates visible tension. Autumn contemplates breaking up with Jamie, feeling both relief and fear. In English class, she argues for the pull of first love, then asks Jamie never to leave, and he promises.
Summary
School resumes after Christmas, and Angie arrives devastated because Mike has dumped her. Autumn and friends crowd into a bathroom stall to comfort Angie, which triggers Autumn’s memory of her own first breakup and the distinctive, breath-stealing pain she never wants to feel again.
At lunch, Autumn notices Finny and Sylvie still sit with their group but no longer beside each other. The bus stop that morning confirmed their distance: Finny withdrawn, Sylvie aloof. Autumn’s resentment toward Sylvie briefly flares into a darker fantasy, underscoring the tension surrounding Finny’s breakup.
Autumn considers how their friend group might handle a split and tries to imagine breaking up with Jamie. Her first reaction is relief—ending it would free her from guilt about wondering if someone else might be a better fit. She then feels fear, realizing she loves Jamie and dreads love’s impermanence.
In Honors English, Mr. Laughegan opens discussion on Jane Eyre. When Autumn describes being upset by Mr. Rochester’s secret, Alexis mocks her and Sylvie laughs, but Autumn continues, admitting she still wants Jane with Rochester because first loves linger powerfully. The idea makes Autumn imagine herself longing for Jamie even if she were with someone else.
After class, seeking reassurance, Autumn tells Jamie, “Never leave me.” Jamie promises he won’t, momentarily quieting her doubts while the fractures around them—Angie’s heartbreak and Finny and Sylvie’s estrangement—remain unresolved.
Who Appears
- AutumnNarrator; comforts Angie, observes Finny and Sylvie’s awkward split, wrestles with doubts about Jamie, affirms belief in first love, seeks Jamie’s promise.
- JamieAutumn’s boyfriend; chats with Jack in class, becomes the focus of Autumn’s fears and reassurance; promises never to leave.
- AngieFriend devastated after Mike dumps her; cries in the bathroom as the girls comfort her.
- FinnyAutumn’s childhood friend; newly separated from Sylvie, withdrawn and quiet at the bus stop and lunch table.
- SylvieFinny’s ex; maintains cool distance post-breakup, laughs at a classmate’s jab during English discussion.
- SashaFriend who comforts Angie and calls Mike an idiot; part of Autumn’s support circle.
- Mr. LaugheganHonors English teacher; leads Jane Eyre discussion and moderates after Alexis mocks Autumn.
- AlexisClassmate who mimics Autumn’s emotion about Jane Eyre and is called on to answer.
- JackJamie’s friend; chats with him during class.