Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 72

Overview

At a farewell gathering before the next deadly split, Carl reframes the surviving crawlers as a family that floor ten has failed to break. Elle then exposes Linus as an offworld impostor and failed poisoner, using evidence uncovered by fan communities and the real Linus’s own writing. The spy reveals that his handlers wanted Imani dead and Louis as a secondary target, while deliberately keeping Carl alive because his instability serves their interests, deepening the sense that the crawlers are fighting a larger, manipulative system.

Summary

Carl addresses the two hundred assembled crawlers before the coming split, saluting those attempting escape, those planning to take deals after the next heat, and those still hoping to reach the parade. Carl admits that floor ten has pushed everyone toward betrayal and mutual harm, especially with a final three-team heat where only one team can survive, but Carl insists he still sees the survivors as family and says he is proud they have made it this far together.

Carl then says the group has one last piece of business: sending a message to the universe. Elle joins him and begins by speaking about her late husband, Barry, explaining that his favorite song was Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” As the song plays, Elle shifts from mourning Barry and the loneliness she endured after his death to describing the strange new community she has found among the crawlers and her online fans, especially Elle’s Snow Cones.

Elle uses that community to expose Linus. She explains that the real Linus had written a private essay before the floor began, and his friends recently shared it on the Princess Posse server. In the essay, the real Linus said the crawlers had become real to him because of how much they loved one another, and he specifically wrote about missing his big brother. The quote proves the soother standing among them is an impostor, and Donut excitedly connects that evidence to fan theories that the fake Linus is the missing brother.

The exposed infiltrator breaks down and admits enough to confirm the truth. He says his brother was already dead before he was inserted into the dungeon, and he asks whether the real Linus’s letter can be sent to him. Elle and Donut both ridicule how badly he performed the role, noting that fans had already noticed behavioral inconsistencies and even a wrong tattoo. Elle also reveals that his attempt to poison the tea was doomed because the crawlers’ healers had already granted immunity, making the danger visible to those who drank it.

Once the spy realizes he has been watched for days, Imani demands to know who he was sent to kill. The infiltrator answers that Carl was never the target because the people outside believe Carl is most useful alive, since Carl is volatile enough to get others killed; Donut was also spared because removing her might make Carl die too quickly. Instead, the true targets were Imani and, secondarily, Louis. Carl answers by declaring that the forces controlling the crawl have already failed: the crawlers have been forged past the point of breaking. Carl then makes the threat personal, implying that when the spy is ejected back to his trapped ship in orbit, allies waiting outside will finish him.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Leads the gathering, celebrates crawler unity, helps expose the spy, and warns their enemies have already lost.
  • Elle
    Uses a speech about Barry and evidence from fan communities to publicly unmask fake Linus.
  • Linus
    Impostor soother and offworld spy exposed as Barry’s fan community spots inconsistencies and failed poisoning.
  • Donut
    Credits the Princess Posse message board, explains fandom theories, and mocks the spy’s poor impersonation.
  • Imani
    Demands the truth after the exposure and learns she was the infiltrator’s primary assassination target.
  • Louis
    Plays the song for Elle and discovers he was the spy’s secondary target.
  • Barry
    Elle’s late husband, invoked in her speech as a symbol of love, grief, and regained family.
  • Prepotente
    Briefly interrupts to defend his acting after Donut insults the spy’s performance.
  • Bautista
    Supports the gathering by pouring Donut a bowl as the crowd listens to Carl.
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