Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 39

Overview

At the Lollipop, Carl's team stops merely interrogating Akuma and starts acting on his lead about the Pineapple Cabaret, planning to recruit fighters and investigate multiple routes inside. Tipid strengthens the lead by vouching for Herot, but he also warns that the war mages are likely to exploit the crawlers and that shadow mimics may be the real threat. He then confirms that a hidden guildhall exists in the bar and reveals that entry requires perfectly performing the correct karaoke song, giving the group a concrete but difficult way forward.

Summary

After leaving the back room at Chicken and Waffles and Upgrades, Carl's group leaves Akuma muted and nearly dead, with Carl still trying to question him through chat. Louis gets a milkshake, Prepotente collects a huge stack of buff-granting sodas, and Carl decides Akuma's story about the Pineapple Cabaret cannot be trusted blindly. Even so, Akuma's mention of Herot and Eris's earlier insistence that an escape route exists persuade Carl to move forward with a trust-but-verify approach.

Carl starts organizing the next steps between races. He plans to gather volunteers willing to fight at the Pineapple Cabaret, assigns Prepotente and Mordecai to investigate the shop-interface exploit, and intends to send some of the strippers back to the Desperado Club to search for another portal method. In the group chat, Donut gives everyone a blunt summary of the situation: the Cabaret may still offer refuge or even a route back to Earth, but it has been overrun and the war mage's promises remain unclear. Carl also notes that Rosetta reacts strongly to Menerva's name, suggesting Menerva matters, but Rosetta does not fully explain why.

Because they have only a few hours left and still need to reach the other Corcunda to finish the Dong quest, Carl turns to Tipid's knowledge of hidden guildhalls. At the Lollipop bar, Tipid says that under normal circumstances, even discussing these secrets would bring punishment from the AI and showrunners, which confirms how badly the floor is breaking down. Tipid remembers Herot as a smart, disruptive crawler much like Carl and says Herot is more trustworthy than the war mages. He warns that the war mages may use Carl's group to clear the Cabaret and then kill them, and he adds that shadow mimics are probably the real danger; Mordecai's current changeling-shadow-mimic state shows the floor is glitching in impossible ways. During this conversation, Imani, Chris, and Elle arrive with a newly hired fleshmancer mercenary they plan to hide until needed.

Tipid then tests his theory that the Lollipop contains a hidden stage-performance guildhall by going onstage and singing badly. A performance needle appears above him, proving the guildhall is there. He explains that certain secretly marked songs in the karaoke binder trigger the entrance sequence and that only singers who keep the needle in the green for the whole song will be allowed inside. Donut is delighted by the karaoke challenge, Prepotente interrupts with detailed Celine Dion trivia and gets thrown out for bringing in outside drinks, and Carl immediately messages Mordecai to brew bard potions so the group has a chance to pass the singing requirement.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Organizes the next move after Akuma's revelations and learns the hidden guildhall requires a singing challenge.
  • Tipid
    Advises Carl, warns against trusting war mages, and proves the Lollipop hides a stage-performance guildhall.
  • Donut
    Explains the Pineapple Cabaret situation in chat and becomes excited about the karaoke-based entrance.
  • Prepotente
    Carries dozens of buff sodas, shows off music trivia, and gets kicked out for bringing in outside drinks.
  • Akuma
    Stays muted and unhelpful in chat, but his claims continue driving the group's plans.
  • Mordecai
    Works on the shop exploit and agrees to brew bard potions for the karaoke challenge.
  • Rosetta
    Shows clear interest in Menerva's name but remains reluctant to explain what she knows.
  • Imani
    Arrives with Chris and Elle after hiring a fleshmancer mercenary for future fighting.
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