Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 95

Overview

Carl and Penelope phase into Scolopendra’s body and reach Club Scolopendra, confirming a key part of Plan C: Taranis remains outside, Emberus manifests inside, and Carl can get close to the fire god. The chapter also exposes a major flaw in their safety assumptions, because Scolopendra’s second nine-tier attack still reaches the club and harms allies and mounts outside the RV shelter. At the end, Carl deliberately triggers the heart of his gambit by summoning Khepri outside, abandoning Emberus, and claiming responsibility for Geyrun’s death, setting up a divine confrontation and an imminent smite.

Summary

Carl activates Gloom Wraith Phase as Taranis and Emberus enter the realm, then shoots himself and Penelope through Scolopendra’s flesh and into the creature’s interior. Taranis briefly empowers Carl’s lightning attacks, proving Rosetta and Mordecai’s patch advice was correct, but Carl immediately discovers there is no air inside the beast. Afraid Penelope will suffocate and unable to risk potion poisoning, Carl improvises by piercing Penelope with an oxygen-granting nipple ring, only to learn moments later from Mordecai that splooge does not share normal potion cooldown rules.

Using a sparkler and his map, Carl locates Club Scolopendra from inside the monster and oozes through organs toward it while the rest of his group shelters in Makana’s RV under Prepotente’s memorial crystal for the next scheduled attack. Carl reflects that lightning is the long-running clue to Scolopendra’s weakness, so the team has stacked lightning magic as a contingency, but killing Scolopendra is still only the backup plan. When Carl and Penelope finally enter the club, Taranis’s buff drops off, Emberus’s aura grants Carl immunity to Sheol-based attacks, and Carl confirms that the club blocks outside deity auras but may not block Scolopendra herself.

Inside the bloody halls, Carl finds a brutally tortured tourist, Cerni Pinta, begging to die. Before Carl can act, Scolopendra releases the second of nine attacks, Sin of Consumption, and the attack wheel appears inside the club, proving the club does not protect against these floor-boss attacks. Carl and Penelope survive their rolls, but Cerni Pinta is selected and dies gratefully as worms erupt from her body. Through party chat, Carl learns the RV shelter protected the main group, safe rooms are not fully safe, Bucket Boy was injured but saved, and Donut’s mounts were exposed when the group moved, leading to Gonk’s rescue and Sweety’s death.

Carl deactivates a Kyryap trap and pushes deeper into the club while the battle outside worsens: Taranis assaults Scolopendra, the tree breaks, the boss tangles with the Krakaren, and many mobs die. Carl reaches Emberus in the lobby, sets Penelope down, and coordinates with Donut, who is standing near Taranis outside. To trigger the next step of Plan C, Carl tells Emberus that two people killed Geyrun, falsely names Khepri as one of them, and uses his summon to bring Khepri into the arena outside rather than into the club. Carl then removes Emberus’s ring, abandons his faith despite the promised smite, and escalates further by claiming he himself killed Geyrun, ending the chapter on the brink of Emberus’s reaction and Carl’s punishment.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Leads Plan C inside Scolopendra, reaches Emberus, and deliberately abandons his god to trigger the next move.
  • Penelope
    Sapient pig bait carried into Scolopendra; needs oxygen and splooge while Taranis obsessively calls to her.
  • Emberus
    Fire god summoned inside the club, demanding proof about Geyrun’s killer before Carl provokes him.
  • Taranis
    Lightning god summoned outside; buffs Carl briefly and attacks Scolopendra while trying to rescue Penelope.
  • Donut
    Coordinates from outside, reports attack results, saves Gonk, loses Sweety, and confirms Khepri appears outside.
  • Scolopendra
    Floor boss whose body contains the club; launches Sin of Consumption and suffers heavy damage outside.
  • Mordecai
    Advises Carl on splooge mechanics and reports that guides survive while safe rooms do not.
  • Cerni Pinta
    Tortured tourist trapped in webbing who begs for death and is killed by the second attack.
  • Khepri
    Falsely accused by Carl and summoned outside as part of the trap for Emberus.
  • Florin
    Relays battlefield updates about Taranis damaging Scolopendra and the broken tree.
  • Imani
    Leads the team’s move into the arena and checks on the group during the chaos.
  • Elle
    Reports mob losses from the worm attack and reacts to Taranis’s assault.
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