Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Interlude 1

Overview

In this interlude, Princess Chandra reveals that she has exploited Naga law to marry Carl after killing her former husband, seize control of Carl and Donut's finances, and position herself to inherit their growing wealth. She presents Donut with the conservatorship, lawsuits, and fund transfers she has arranged, expecting submission.

Instead, Donut sees through Chandra immediately, denounces her motives, and uses the public nature of the meeting to imply a massive bounty on her. The encounter flips the power dynamic: Chandra leaves not triumphant but terrified, suggesting that her scheme has just made her a target and that Donut's reach extends far beyond the dungeon.

Summary

Princess Chandra, a Naga lawyer aboard the damaged warship Ventilator, reflects on the recent coup that put her uncle on the throne and on her own goal of escaping her home system. She cares little about politics beyond what they can do for her finances and freedom. After her husband Rishi was killed by crawler Carl, Chandra used a Naga royal custom called Widow's Rights to legally claim Carl as her new husband, positioning herself to inherit his assets and profit from anything tied to Carl and Princess Donut.

Chandra reviews the legal work she has already rushed through. She has activated contracts tied to Carl, moved to seize early profits from the Princess Posse, and—more importantly—argued that Donut is not legally competent and should be placed under a conservatorship with Carl as guardian. By becoming Carl's wife and then arranging to be assigned as Donut's attorney, Chandra has effectively given herself access to both Carl's and Donut's growing earnings. She is also pressuring the Donut Holes fan group for a large share of their profits and has hired Taurin enforcers to eliminate Quasar, Carl's original lawyer, whom she sees as her main obstacle.

When Donut appears in a containment room for deal negotiations, Chandra first confirms that Donut will refuse all offered deals. Relieved, Chandra then presents the real reason for the meeting: she shows Donut the stack of new legal filings, including the conservatorship, the seizure and rerouting of fan-group funds, lawsuits over Donut's likeness, the subpoena of the Donut Holes' records, and the marriage ruling that makes Carl Chandra's husband. Chandra expects outrage or helplessness, but Donut calmly reads everything, focusing especially on the total amount of money she and Carl have earned.

Donut responds by comparing Chandra's legal packet to old Earth documents Carl once found about his father's attempts to access money and manipulate family arrangements. Donut argues that such documents, even if legally framed, reveal character, and she says Chandra's papers expose her as petty, cruel, and pathetic. Chandra loses her composure, admits she only wants Donut alive long enough to keep making money, and insists the theft cannot be stopped because it is legal.

Donut then turns the conversation into a threat. She reminds Chandra that the Princess Posse extends far beyond Carl and Donut and warns that being outside the dungeon will not keep Chandra safe from their supporters. In front of any media observers, Donut pointedly states that she is not offering fifty million credits for someone to kill Chandra and another five million for her head as a hat, making the implied bounty unmistakable. At that exact moment, Chandra receives a message from her hired Taurin associates asking for her coordinates to discuss the hit on Quasar, and the coincidence deepens her panic.

Shaken, Chandra tries to gather her papers and leave, but Donut physically dominates the moment by standing over the documents and confronting her at close range. Donut growls and delivers a final lesson on princesshood: a princess should never place herself in a situation where fear makes her lose control. Chandra, humiliated and terrified, can only deny that she has already done so, while Donut coolly answers, "Not yet."

Who Appears

  • Princess Chandra
    Naga lawyer who manipulates royal law to control Carl and Donut's money, then panics when Donut threatens her.
  • Princess Donut
    Crawler cat who refuses deals, studies Chandra's filings, exposes Chandra's greed, and intimidates her into fear.
  • Carl
    Off-page crawler whom Chandra has legally claimed as husband and guardian of Donut to access both fortunes.
  • Quasar
    Carl's original Nullian lawyer; Chandra considers him a threat and hires killers to eliminate him.
  • Rishi
    Chandra's late husband, killed by Carl; his death enables Chandra's Widow's Rights scheme.
  • Vinata
    Deposed Naga crown princess whose death during the recent upheaval Chandra recalls with satisfaction.
  • Taurin associates
    Hired enforcers Chandra sends after Quasar; their message for her coordinates intensifies her fear.
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