Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 1

Overview

Carl and Donut arrive on the tenth floor and immediately learn its core rule: they must secure a vehicle before the first deadly "heat" begins. While Carl absorbs grim updates about Justice Light's death, the mass exodus of crawlers, and the spreading catastrophe caused by the broken Nothing, Donut rapidly adapts by choosing a new class tied to Sekhmet. The chapter establishes the tenth floor's garage-and-vehicle structure and ends with Donut choosing a mechanical ride and hiring Hedy, a decision shaped by the need to protect Mongo and survive the new floor.

Summary

Carl is abruptly transferred from the zero zone to a garage on the tenth floor, where the system announces that the next "heat" begins in five minutes and that safe room access is blocked until it ends. Donut appears moments later, celebrates regaining the top leaderboard spot, and jokes about Carl's new forced marriage to Princess Chandra. As Carl orients himself, he sees that only 5,501 crawlers remain, realizes that most survivors accepted deals, and takes a brief, bittersweet comfort in knowing so many escaped.

Carl then checks his messages and confirms more bad news Quasar had already warned him about. A final message from the deceased mercenary Justice Light hits Carl hard, and Rosetta responds that she and others are not far behind. Carl reviews the larger crisis Quasar described: the Nothing is broken, the twelfth and eighteenth floors are in chaos, outworlders cannot truly die there because the system keeps reviving them, and horrific creatures have spilled into Scolopendra's body and the club on the eighteenth floor, trapping guests in endless torment. Carl also notes which of his allies are still in the dungeon, relieved and worried that so many friends refused the exit deals.

Meanwhile, Donut urgently consults Mordecai about her forced class change. She ignores sillier options and notices a new tab of classes tied to her deity titles, then quickly chooses Assassin of Sekhmet because it offers strong abilities and pet accessories. Immediately after, Donut receives a disturbing message from Khepri claiming he is forming a death cult in her name, which Mordecai says can only mean trouble. Before they can dwell on it, the system warns that they still lack the vehicle or mount required for the coming heat.

Two garage applicants, the gremlins Hedy and Waldrip Chris, rush in and begin violently fighting each other while pitching their services. Carl examines them and learns the choice is between a mechanical vehicle maintained by Hedy and a biological mount cared for by Waldrip Chris. Their argument produces the decisive information: special mounts cannot be healed by Donut's pet spells, and a biological vehicle might try to eat Mongo or other pets. With only seconds left, Donut chooses the safer mechanical option and hires Hedy. Before Waldrip Chris can keep arguing, he is suddenly blown apart, and the system confirms that Hedy is now their mechanic.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Arrives on the tenth floor, processes grim updates, and helps choose how the party will survive the first heat.
  • Donut
    Regains party leadership, picks the Assassin of Sekhmet class, and chooses a mechanical vehicle with Hedy.
  • Hedy
    Gremlin mechanic applicant who argues for mechanical vehicles and is hired to manage the garage.
  • Waldrip Chris
    Gremlin animal trainer applicant who pushes biological mounts, fights Hedy, and is abruptly killed.
  • Mordecai
    Advises Donut remotely on class selection and warns her strange new divine options need study.
  • Quasar
    Previously briefed Carl on Princess Chandra and the wider disaster on the twelfth and eighteenth floors.
  • Justice Light
    Dead mercenary whose final message confirms his loss and deepens Carl's grief.
  • Rosetta
    Responds to Justice Light's message and signals that more mercenaries expect to die soon.
  • Khepri
    Bug god who sends Donut a threatening message about forming a death cult in her name.
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