Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 62

Overview

A heartfelt note from Mees reminds Donut that her small acts of kindness can have lasting consequences, while also gifting her a new spell. Meanwhile, Li Na appears to begin her dangerous escape attempt by leaving the party and being disqualified, though Mordecai’s cactus signal offers only partial reassurance. Carl then shifts fully into the next heat, loading Dong, Porky, and Grigori into the truck and using Dr. Metcalf’s map data to prepare for a brutal factory course filled with molten metal and bosses.

Summary

The chapter opens with an entry for Donut’s cookbook from Mees Koning 2, a half-orc mage marked as a player-killer after a spell accident. Mees explains that Donut’s brief kindness during Faction Wars gave him one of the few affirming moments of his life and helped him endure the crawl. In gratitude, Mees praises Donut’s inner and outer beauty and sends her a drawing that grants the spell Big-Ass Magnet.

Just before the next race, Carl goes to the pet stables and finds Dong with Porky, showing him Gonk the swamp yak. Rend complains when Carl appears but is distracted with frozen chicken patties, while Penelope eagerly joins in and Porky fixates on her in a way Carl finds unsettling. Dong, already physically failing, still frames the coming heat as one more worthy charge into danger, and he and Carl leave for the truck together.

At the starting line, Carl checks messages. Akuma confirms he is still on the floor but refuses further chatter, Zhang reports that Li Na has left the party and been disqualified, and Mordecai says the cactus signal remains steady, suggesting Li Na’s escape attempt is underway but not yet resolved. Donut is disturbed by Mordecai’s repeated warnings, Dorota offers blunt advice, and Carl focuses on the race lineup, noting nearby teams and where other allies are competing.

Inside the truck, Carl sees how precarious his crew is: Dong is near red health and suffering fatigue, Porky stays close to him, and Grigori is already nauseated by even slow driving. Dr. Metcalf finally analyzes the course map and reports that the route runs through an active factory from receiving to shipping, with mixed open and narrow sections, neighborhood bosses, and at least one chamber where molten metal covers the floor, forcing teams to drive on walls or ceilings. Based on that information, Carl commits to a tactical start behind the Lady Dominators with help from Osvaldo and possibly Prepotente and Jurgen. When the light turns green, Carl, Donut, and their passengers launch into the new heat.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Prepares the team for the new heat, checks Li Na’s status, studies the map, and launches the race.
  • Princess Donut
    Receives Mees’s grateful cookbook entry and rides with Carl into the factory heat.
  • Dong
    Weak and fatigued but determined, he joins Carl in the truck for what may be another final charge.
  • Dr. Metcalf
    Analyzes the course map and warns of molten-metal terrain, narrow routes, and neighborhood bosses.
  • Porky
    Accompanies Dong into the truck, stays physically close to him, and also fixates on Penelope.
  • Grigori
    Takes a back seat in the truck and quickly proves uneasy with Carl’s driving.
  • Mees Koning 2
    Half-orc mage whose cookbook entry thanks Donut for a past kindness and gives her a new spell.
  • Mordecai
    Monitors the cactus signal and reports that Li Na’s condition appears steady.
  • Zhang
    Reports that Li Na has left the party and been disqualified, confirming her escape attempt has begun.
  • Dorota
    Rides with the team and offers blunt commentary as tension rises before the race.
  • Akuma
    Briefly confirms he is still on the floor but refuses further conversation with Carl.
  • Osvaldo
    Nearby racer whose position is part of Carl’s opening plan behind the Lady Dominators.
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