A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 37
Overview
Carl’s visit to Chicken and Waffles and Upgrades turns from comic distraction to ambush when the group finds a murdered upgrade imp and a note from Akuma demanding Carl come alone. Carl refuses to isolate himself, exposes Akuma’s hiding place, and forces a confrontation with the war mage.
Before Akuma can control the exchange, Donut silences him and Elle brutally injures and threatens him into submission. By the end of the chapter, Akuma is trapped and ready to be interrogated, potentially opening a path to long-delayed answers about the war mages, Agatha, and their larger agenda.
Summary
Carl leads the group into Chicken and Waffles and Upgrades, a diner-like shop marked as exempt from safe-room rules. While an imp waitress named Darla-Dean offers menus, Donut is insulted by the suggestion of a kiddie menu, Samantha suddenly reappears, and Louis and Prepotente become distracted by the buff-granting food and drinks. Carl ignores the menu chaos and pushes through the hidden entrance to the upgrade area.
Inside the back room, the mood changes immediately. Carl finds a dead upgrade imp, Hickster, whose eyes have been burned out, and loots a crayon note addressed to him. The note reveals that Akuma expected Carl to arrive alone and is angry that he brought the others.
Carl searches the room, discovers a hidden door behind a vehicle poster, and disarms a concealed disintegration trap attached to it. When Carl refuses to separate from his allies and calls Akuma out, the war mage finally reveals himself in a small storeroom, casually drinking a purple milkshake. Carl recalls Akuma’s previous betrayal during Faction Wars, including the war mages’ theft of the Gate of the Feral Gods and Akuma’s earlier message that Carl needed to kill Agatha.
Akuma immediately insults Carl, but Donut cuts him off with a Mute spell before he can continue. Elle then escalates the confrontation without hesitation, firing an ice bolt into Akuma’s crotch and shattering one of his testicles. The attack is not part of Carl’s plan, but Elle uses the pain and shock to seize control of the interrogation.
Elle reminds Akuma that he and the other war mages previously attacked her and stole the gate from her. She threatens to destroy the rest of his genitals and then have Jacobus perform further torture if Akuma lies or resists. Imani prepares to trap Akuma inside an anti-magic shield that will slowly drain his health, while Donut keeps him muted long enough to make him understand the stakes.
As the others react with a mix of horror and admiration, Samantha eagerly asks to join in, and the mercenaries retreat in fear. The chapter ends with Akuma subdued, injured, and cornered, setting up a forced interrogation that may finally reveal what the war mages want and why Akuma sought Carl out.
Who Appears
- CarlLeads the group into the upgrade shop, finds Akuma’s note, disarms the trap, and forces the confrontation.
- ElleTakes over the interrogation by brutally injuring Akuma and threatening worse if he lies.
- AkumaWar mage who lures Carl to the shop, kills the upgrade imp, then is discovered hiding.
- DonutInterrupts Akuma with a Mute spell and helps control the situation.
- SamanthaReappears unexpectedly, makes lewd jokes, and eagerly offers to join Akuma’s torture.
- ImaniWarns the group about buffing food and prepares an anti-magic shield for Akuma.
- LouisGets distracted by the diner menu and reacts nervously to Samantha and Elle.
- PrepotenteFocuses on ordering large quantities of buffing drinks while the group enters the shop.
- JacobusImani’s summoned reverse tooth fairy, invoked as a threat during Elle’s interrogation.
- OlgaOne of the mercenaries, alarmed by the danger and regretting her team’s price.