A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 16
Overview
At the bar, Prepotente asks Carl and Donut for advice about a rare pet biscuit that would turn a goat into a humanoid crawler magically bound to love its feeder. When he reveals he is considering using it on his pre-dungeon girlfriend Ragazzaccia, Donut firmly condemns the idea as both unethical and deadly this deep in the dungeon. The conversation highlights Prepotente's loneliness and immaturity while also pushing Donut into a more protective, mentoring role.
Summary
While the group relaxes at the bar and briefly argues about what songs someone should sing, Carl steps away from the chatter to enjoy the momentary sense of normalcy. Prepotente joins Carl, says he needs advice, and Donut immediately inserts herself into the conversation.
Prepotente places a rare pet biscuit on the table. Carl and Donut learn that it is an Enriched Pet Biscuit called The Paramour, one of three special biscuits Prepotente received from a celestial box. Unlike ordinary pet biscuits, this one has a fixed result: it would transform a pet or animal into an upright party companion with crawler status and make that creature permanently and incurably fall in love with whoever fed it the biscuit.
Prepotente explains that the other two biscuits are less extreme: one would create a basic dungeon pet, and one would make a party companion without speech or the forced-love effect. When Prepotente starts to explain that he wants to use a biscuit on Ragazzaccia, his girlfriend from before the dungeon, Donut immediately objects. She frames the Paramour effect as coercive and morally wrong, then adds a practical warning: any transformed goat would become a level-1 crawler who could no longer remain safely stored away and would almost certainly be in danger this late in the dungeon.
Prepotente admits that he is lonely and that he does not know how to judge these situations on his own. He compares himself unfavorably to Donut, whose enhanced memories help her understand social behavior, and says he misses having his mother to ask for guidance. Donut responds by laying down a simple rule that he must never use magic to force love, then offers to answer his questions every day and help him with rules for how to act.
Prepotente accepts Donut's judgment and thanks her. Carl lightens the mood with a joke about using the non-talking biscuit on Donut, and Donut snaps back while insisting the matter is serious. The scene ends with Jurgen returning to the table carrying drinks, unaware of the strange ethical crisis he has missed.
Who Appears
- PrepotenteLonely goat companion who seeks advice about using a magical biscuit on his former girlfriend.
- Princess DonutStrongly condemns Prepotente's plan as coercive and dangerous, then offers to mentor him.
- CarlListens to Prepotente's dilemma, reacts to the biscuit's effects, and briefly jokes to lighten the tension.
- RagazzacciaPrepotente's pre-dungeon girlfriend, the intended target of the biscuit he considers using.
- JurgenReturns at the end with drinks, missing the entire conversation.
- LinusStarts the scene's casual banter by suggesting a song choice.
- ElleSnaps at Linus during the opening music discussion.
- LouisJoins the opening conversation by suggesting 1980s punk and metal songs.