Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 83

Overview

Carl's trap works: Osvaldo abandons Bruna too soon, cannot pass the portal, and is killed by Britney, eliminating Team Flamengo and making Carl's side the only team left in the heat. The victory comes with new complications, as Britney now carries Ysalte's memorial crystal and Carl shifts his thinking toward using the Cabaret's holding area to save doomed crawlers instead of sacrificing them. The chapter ends with Donut brutally stopping the Russians' last-second escape attempt, showing how quickly survival plans can turn back into lethal force.

Summary

Carl detonates the poleaxe charges he designed to blast vertically rather than level the building, opening a jagged shaft from the lobby to the roof. As soon as the roof opens, Osvaldo launches himself toward the portals to the eleventh floor. Carl knows Osvaldo's mistake: under the containment rules, Osvaldo can only cross without his mount if Bruna has already been destroyed, so Osvaldo cannot simply abandon her and escape first.

Carl's team immediately acts to keep Bruna alive. They fire potion balls that create a liquid drop shield, an explosion blanket, and a smoke curtain, while Donut lands on Bruna, adds another shield, grows trees to block line of sight, and emergency gremlins begin treating the gnu. Osvaldo's planted grenade is stopped, and the poison dart bombs he dropped during his ascent hit the layered defenses instead of killing Bruna.

At the roof, Osvaldo slams into the portal barrier and is stunned because he still does not meet the conditions to leave. Donut tracks him from below, Britney moves in, and despite Florin's warning to protect Louis, Britney kills Osvaldo. A system message announces that Team Flamengo has been eliminated and that Carl's side is now the sole remaining team in the heat. Osvaldo's body crashes back down, and Britney lands on it with a player-killer skull over her head.

With the immediate threat gone, the stunned bugs begin recovering and swarming again. Imani says she will cast a wide-area stun and orders the single-heat winners to leave while the others regroup in Hungry Eyes, but Donut refuses to leave before everyone is safe. Back in the truck, Carl notices that Britney now carries Ysalte's memorial crystal, and Samantha explains that Britney may be able to free Ysalte permanently by placing the gem at a special temple site.

Carl then thinks through the larger rescue plan for endangered crawlers, including those who worship gods or have bodies incompatible with escape. Based on what Rosetta, Mordecai, and Tipid have told him, Carl hopes the Cabaret and the catchall holding area in the Nothing can serve as a temporary stasis refuge, and he believes Pontiff may already have warned Herot to handle such arrivals carefully. Even though Carl knows the logic is fragile, he sees it as a better option than letting everyone die or turning on one another.

As Chris's truck, Imani, and Elle begin to back away, the Russian Cadillac suddenly tilts up and makes a desperate run for the exit instead of accepting the plan. The APV and Chris's truck fire to weaken its shield, Prepotente throws something that drops the barrier entirely, and Donut instantly uses Astral Paw to crush the car flat. The Cadillac is annihilated in less than a second, and three new player-killer skulls appear over Donut.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Detonates the roof-breach trap, coordinates Bruna's rescue, and weighs the Cabaret stasis plan.
  • Donut
    Shields Bruna, tracks Osvaldo, refuses to leave allies, and crushes the Russian Cadillac.
  • Britney Proskurina
    Reaches the stunned Osvaldo first, kills him, and is revealed to hold Ysalte's memorial crystal.
  • Osvaldo
    Springs for the portal too early, is blocked by the rules, and dies at Britney's hands.
  • Bruna
    Osvaldo's abandoned slaughter gnu, kept alive by shields, smoke, and emergency gremlin treatment.
  • Imani
    Coordinates the aftermath, promises a bug-stunning spell, and continues trying to save other crawlers.
  • Samantha
    Explains that Britney may be able to use Ysalte's crystal at a temple site.
  • Florin
    Warns others to protect Louis and then argues with Lucia about where to go next.
  • Louis
    Reports Britney's jump and becomes someone Florin fears could be targeted to force an exit.
  • Lucia
    Pushes to move toward the stairwell before backing off with Florin.
  • Prepotente
    Helps drop the Russian Cadillac's shield just before Donut destroys the car.
  • Elle
    Works with Imani on plans to stop or save the remaining crawlers.
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