Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 5

Overview

Carl and Donut finish salvaging Team Free Love's race by building a makeshift tow setup, but a hostile encounter with Team Sparkles reinforces how vicious the competition remains. As they limp to the finish, strange arena notifications and Elle's bizarre fan event reveal more of the floor's hidden machinery. The heat ends with Carl's team in seventh and Team Free Love barely surviving in eighth, deepening the moral strain of helping NPC allies they may later have to kill.

Summary

Carl uses scavenged wood, wheels, and chains to build a crude trailer so Team Free Love can keep racing after their crash. While Carl works, Donut guards the area with Mongo nearby, Rend accidentally collects Avernus Creeper thorns, and Carl reflects that the floor is designed to make crawlers temporarily cooperate with awakened NPCs they may later have to kill.

Team Sparkles then arrives: Dwight, an abrasive sparkling unicorn, rides an Avernus Creeper while Lucienne, a hostile mandagot, insults Donut. Donut nearly starts a fight, but Carl tells her to let them pass. Mongo's horn startles the Creeper into charging forward, and Team Sparkles runs over Carl's unfinished setup before disappearing down the road. Carl recovers invasive thorns from Rend, and Mordecai excitedly tells Carl to save them for later use.

After slow work, Carl, Donut, Jasha, and Radoslav finally secure the damaged van onto the trailer and continue toward the finish. Along the way, Carl finds manatee corpses torn apart by Old Shuck of the Jugglers, showing how dangerous the other racers are. Donut talks with Radoslav about the bugbears' assigned musician roles, then receives a strange notice saying Otto the slime has been voted a manatee stand-in in the arena. Other crawlers report similar arena-transfer messages, while Elle complains over chat about an awkward one-person fan meet-and-greet with a disturbing superfan.

The group eventually exits the cave and reaches the converging roads near Hungry Eyes Village and the finish line. Carl sends Radoslav back into his own van so Team Free Love can legally cross in their proper vehicle. Radoslav sincerely thanks Carl and Donut for helping them, which forces Carl and Donut to confront the cruelty of knowing they will probably have to kill these same bugbears in later heats. They cross the finish line in seventh place, Team Free Love takes eighth, and the Trauco Triplets are officially eliminated from the competition.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Builds the tow rig, avoids a fight, and gets Team Free Love across the finish.
  • Princess Donut
    Insulted by Team Sparkles, receives strange arena notices, and wrestles with the floor's cruelty.
  • Radoslav
    Bugbear racer from Team Free Love who rides with Carl and offers heartfelt thanks at the finish.
  • Jasha
    Bugbear teammate who explains Team Sparkles and helps with the damaged van.
  • Dwight
    Sparkling unicorn racer from Team Sparkles; openly hostile and nearly causes a roadside fight.
  • Lucienne
    Mandagot teammate of Dwight who taunts Donut and worsens the confrontation.
  • Mongo
    Kept in the truck for security; repeatedly hits the horn and startles Team Sparkles' mount.
  • Mordecai
    Advises Carl to save the invasive Creeper thorns and cannot explain the arena notices.
  • Elle
    Reports an uncomfortable one-person fan meet-and-greet with an obsessive superfan.
  • Rend
    Carl's heavy pet helps weigh down the trailer and collects valuable Creeper thorns.
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