Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 88

Overview

Floor eleven begins with a shock: only twenty-three crawlers remain, Quasar warns Carl not to trust any offered deals, and Mordecai returns in a powerless spirit form. The survivors are then thrown into an absurd new level structure, where they must build themed parade floats before fighting recreated floor-ten monsters and a boss.

Carl and Donut are grouped with Prepotente and Jurgen under the theme Vengeance, forcing them to balance spectacle, strategy, and the larger danger Carl expects from his anti-god plan. Donut’s new class choice and the floor’s strange rules show that even this seemingly comedic setup is really another high-stakes funnel toward a lethal confrontation.

Summary

Carl arrives on the eleventh floor still unsettled by a brief meeting with Quasar. Quasar had shown Carl a generous deal but warned him not to trust it, and he also said a supposed exit would not appear at the end of floor eleven, only at the start of floor twelve, which he also distrusted. Back in the garage, Carl sees that only twenty-three crawlers remain, realizes how catastrophic the previous floor was, and notes that he still lacks a player-killer skull.

Donut appears and reports that someone she mockingly calls Carl’s psychotic wife tried to force a deal on her before abruptly backing off. Donut then learns she finished third while Carl finished second, with the top rank still hidden. Mordecai checks in through chat and explains that he has become an animistic spirit, meaning he can communicate but not physically assist them. Carl inspects the truck and confirms that the tenth floor’s special vehicle rules are gone, so consumables no longer refresh and damage must now be repaired normally.

As Donut reviews her new class options with Mordecai, Carl rejects a risky comeback-style class because its old drawbacks would return with its benefits. Mordecai suggests Elite Gurkha Warrior instead, emphasizing its pet and melee bonuses, and Donut chooses it despite arguing with Carl about his plan to leave the party. Carl releases Rend, and Donut releases Mongo, reuniting the pets and mounts in the expanded garage while the survivors continue orienting themselves to the new floor.

The floor’s rules are then announced by Chaco, who says the AI has made him Grand Master of the parade. The remaining crawlers are split into five combined float groups and given ninety minutes to build parade processions around assigned themes. The parade route will end in an arena where each group must fight monsters modeled on creatures they killed on the tenth floor plus a floor boss; defeating that boss will open the stairwell. This bizarre setup turns floor eleven into both a performance challenge and a battle preparation phase.

After the garages merge, Carl and Donut are grouped with Prepotente and Jurgen under the theme Vengeance. Donut immediately claims creative control, wants her missed floor-prize spell book, and starts thinking in theatrical terms, while Prepotente focuses on the coming fight and the possibility that Carl’s larger plan could bring gods into the arena. Zev briefly checks on Carl’s pending choices, and Rosetta appears to explain how Odette’s husband, Harry Tisch, props up the orc economy through sprawling financial control, reinforcing Rosetta’s view that hurting one elite often only enriches another. As the group scrambles for a concept, Donut abruptly orders everyone to help build a flower-filled float, and Prepotente points out that her own druid magic may solve at least part of the problem.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Enters floor eleven, distrusts the offered deals, checks the garage rules, and begins planning for the parade battle.
  • Donut
    Rejects a forced deal, picks the Elite Gurkha Warrior class, and takes over designing the Vengeance float.
  • Mordecai
    Returns as an animistic spirit and advises Donut on her new class options through chat.
  • Prepotente
    Gets grouped with Carl and Donut, brings extra vehicles, and tries to focus the team on combat strategy.
  • Chaco
    Reluctantly announces the eleventh floor’s parade rules after being made Grand Master by the AI.
  • Quasar
    Privately warns Carl that the generous deal and promised exits should not be trusted.
  • Rosetta
    Explains Harry Tisch’s financial grip on the orcs and argues that elite wealth protects itself.
  • Zev
    Checks on Carl’s pending choices and comments on Donut’s pop-culture influence spreading offworld.
  • Jurgen
    Arrives with Prepotente as part of Carl and Donut’s assigned parade group.
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