A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 9
Overview
Donut learns that her godslayer reward is a permanent celestial boon that transforms one paw into a devastating radiant weapon, greatly increasing her melee potential while creating new practical risks. She also equips a powerful matched-set crupper and gains more spell and stat upgrades, making her even stronger. The chapter’s most important shift is emotional: the item’s description forces Donut to reckon with the human cost of the massacre that earned it, tying her growing power to the story’s larger moral unease.
Summary
In the safe room, Donut is knocked to the floor when the mysterious godslayer reward permanently alters her right front paw. Mordecai identifies the change as a celestial boon rather than a normal spell or skill, explaining that Donut’s claws on that paw are now empowered by radiant light. The claws glow bright blue, can cut through anything in the mortal realm, and can even harm ghosts. Donut immediately worries about the practical consequences, including damaging her litter box, hurting Carl when she jumps onto him, and being unable to knead safely.
To solve the problem, Rosetta searches the shop interface and buys claw caps designed for this kind of upgrade. While they discuss the boon, Donut discovers that her Claw skill has jumped to level 17, pushing her from a strong ranged fighter into an exceptionally dangerous melee combatant. Mordecai warns that the game usually compensates when crawlers become too powerful, especially from the tenth floor onward. Donut grudgingly accepts the claw caps, choosing a color that turns the glow purple instead of blue, and confirms that she can still retract her claws safely.
Carl then shifts Donut’s attention to the rest of her rewards. Donut reveals a special edition Ice Slick spell book, which starts at a higher level and trains faster. After that, she replaces her old crupper armor with a new unique item, the Crupper of the Benevolent Champion. The new armor completes a matched set with her cloak, grants an achievement, and promises a future reward if she finds a third piece. However, the item description upsets Donut because it frames the brutal kill that earned the prize as both heroic and horrific, forcing her to confront the civilian cost of her past actions.
The new crupper duplicates the cloak’s powers and adds more benefits, including a further Constitution boost, raising Find Weakened to level 10, and allowing one previously enhanced spell to increase another level. Carl recognizes that the item description resembles the system’s usual self-aware, morally conflicted commentary. When Donut asks which spell to improve, Mordecai explains the consequences of several options and emphasizes how dangerous they could become at that level. Donut chooses Puddle Jumper, raising it to level 16, and Mordecai then turns to Carl, signaling that Donut’s upgrades are complete and Carl’s turn is next.
Who Appears
- Princess DonutReceives a permanent radiant claw boon, equips new armor, and chooses to raise Puddle Jumper to level 16.
- CarlObserves Donut’s upgrades, reads the item descriptions, and helps assess the significance of her new rewards.
- MordecaiExplains Donut’s celestial boon, warns about balance backlash, and advises her on spell-upgrade choices.
- RosettaUses the shop interface to find and buy protective claw caps for Donut’s new glowing claws.
- System AISpeaks through the crupper’s description, linking Donut’s reward to the moral cost of her past massacre.