A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 17
Overview
As Carl’s team scrambles to prepare for the next heat, their shaky plan is undermined by an inexperienced driver, an uncooperative vehicle, and a course designed around extreme weather and a mandatory boss fight. The chapter turns from comic chaos to immediate dread when news arrives that Na has murdered multiple teams and forced new replacements into the race, placing allies like Tran and Zhang in direct danger. The coming heat is no longer just another survival challenge; it has become part of Na’s wider attack.
Summary
With about fifteen minutes before the next race, Carl and Bucket Boy get into the truck to prepare. Bucket Boy immediately starts fumbling with the controls, and Carl stops him from pressing the red button that activates the spider legs. In the back, Donut cleans up the freezer after Mongo and Rend have scattered food everywhere, and she warns that the truck’s GPS has a hostile personality and should not be tampered with.
The GPS speaks aloud and reveals that it calls itself Dr. Metcalf, which unsettles Carl because the name matches Miss Beatrice’s former therapist. Donut insists the AI is not that person and says they should stay on its good side. Bucket Boy grows more nervous as the GPS insults him, the horn startles him, and it becomes clear that, despite having driven carts before, he has very little experience with an actual vehicle.
Donut confirms she got a steering device from Hedy, but Carl notes that the mechanism built for Donut is too crude and unreliable, which is why Bucket Boy is driving instead. Carl tries to rip the mounted tommy gun off the roof so they can execute their plan more easily, but the system blocks him from altering the truck’s stock configuration. At the same time, Donut discovers the freezer constantly replenishes itself with frozen food, creating another absurd distraction before the race.
Carl asks the GPS for the course information and learns that their team has been assigned the left path, starting in spot seven on a ten-kilometer asphalt course with rolling hills. The race will take place in torrential rain and giant hail, and both paths contain a gatekeeper monster that must be killed before a team can continue. Carl reviews the plan he worked out with Chiyome and the bugbears: once the race begins, he intends to smash their own windshield so Donut can act quickly with her crossbow.
As Hedy opens the garage door, the weather outside confirms the race will be brutal. Carl starts to explain basic driving to Bucket Boy and stows Rend away for safety. Then a group message interrupts everything: Zhang reports that Prepotente’s suspicions were right, Na has killed five other teams, and four replacement teams have appeared at the starting line, including two crawler teams and Tran’s team. With Na now sitting behind Zhang and apparently entering the race through the replacements, Carl realizes the danger has escalated before the heat even begins.
Who Appears
- CarlPrepares the truck, tries to alter it, reviews the race plan, and reacts to Na's attack.
- DonutCleans the truck, manages tensions with the GPS, and confirms the failed steering workaround.
- Bucket BoyNervous substitute driver with little real experience operating the race truck.
- Dr. MetcalfThe truck's sarcastic GPS, which controls race information and resents being touched.
- ZhangReports from the starting line that Na killed teams and replacements have been inserted.
- NaRevealed to have killed multiple teams and infiltrated the race through replacements.
- TranOne of the crawlers whose team appears among the replacement racers.
- HedyProvides Donut's steering device and opens the garage before the race.
- RendPet who raids the truck's food supply before Carl stores him away.
- ImaniResponds in the team chat when the alarming update about Na arrives.