A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 33
Overview
After winning the third heat, Carl and Donut discover that both of them are disqualified from driving in the next race because each operated the truck, forcing Carl to begin searching for replacement drivers. The next heat is revealed to be a brutal shared-track jungle run with a pit stop, special containment rules, and only a few hours before it begins, sharply raising the pressure. As other teams report mixed results, Carl asks Rosetta to find mercenaries for driving and defense while Hedy prepares the team's next round of upgrades.
Summary
After limping back from the third heat, Carl and Donut realize a new problem: because both of them operated the truck during the race, neither is allowed to touch the controls in the next heat. Carl immediately starts thinking about finding a reliable substitute driver, while Donut argues that merely working the pedals should not count. Dong quickly volunteers to drive, but Carl refuses to decide on the spot.
As they return to the garage area, Carl and the others witness an unexpected aftermath of the previous heat. Onikuma, the razor foxes' bear mount, and Old Shuck, the Jugglers' giant dog, cross the finish line alone and then vanish, suggesting that surviving mounts are preserved even when their riders die. Soon after, a gremlin pushes the shattered remains of Dr. Metcalf past them in a wheelbarrow, and the still-functioning GPS resumes mocking the team while delivering information about the next race.
The new race is revealed to be a nearly 99-kilometer jungle course with a mandatory refueling stop in the lost city of Upano. The route will include traps, monsters, acid rain, possible path-specific tasks, and a special containment unit around the vehicle. It will also be shared with three other heats, and the next race begins in only a little over seven hours, giving Carl and Donut far less recovery and planning time than before.
Back at the garage, Hedy turns the team's attention toward truck upgrades, reminding them that they have won first place and will also receive a bonus Golden upgrade after the next race if they keep winning. Carl pauses before dealing with the mechanics, and Donut uses the moment to check on allies and survivors. Reports come in from the other heats: Imani and Elle place second, Florin and Lucia finish first, Prepotente and Jurgen win cleanly, Chris places third, and Louis, Britney, and Bautista survive as the last remaining team again, leaving them vulnerable to another audience vote. Zhang also reports another win but worries that the remaining crawler teams on that track may be working together.
As the broader situation becomes clearer, Carl learns that Imani and Elle may be sharing his next track, while Prepotente's and Louis's teams appear headed for a different course called Satan's Water Park. Overwhelmed by constant messages and the chaos of the garage, Carl contacts Rosetta and Tipid at the mercenary market. Because neither Carl nor Donut can drive, Carl asks Rosetta to hire at least two fast, dependable mercenaries who can handle driving and defense, then finally turns back to Hedy to hear her upgrade recommendations.
Who Appears
- CarlAssesses the next race's danger, realizes he cannot drive, and asks Rosetta to recruit replacements.
- DonutReturns exhausted from the heat, disputes the driving rule, and checks on allies' safety.
- HedyPushes Carl to choose truck upgrades and reminds the team about upcoming prize opportunities.
- Dr. MetcalfShattered but still active GPS unit who mocks the team and reveals next-race details.
- RosettaContacts Carl from the mercenary market and agrees to look for drivers and defensive help.
- DongVolunteers to drive the next race after helping carry Gluteus Maxx back.
- Imani and ElleAllied team reported to have finished second and possibly share Carl's next track.
- Louis, Britney, and BautistaSurvive again as the last remaining team, leaving them exposed to another audience vote.
- Prepotente and JurgenReportedly win their heat without losing teams and are assigned a different upcoming track.
- ZhangReports another win but fears the remaining crawler teams on that track are conspiring.