A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 90
Overview
Carl's group finishes transforming the garage into a coordinated, flower-covered parade procession, assigning riders, vehicles, and themed gear for the coming event. Other crawler teams settle on rough interpretations of their required parade themes, showing how improvised and politically pointed the spectacle will be.
Just before the start, Carl leaves Donut's party and joins Safehome Yolanda, a strategic move meant to protect resources and support their plan if he dies. The chapter ends with the staging call, locking the characters into the dangerous parade they have only barely prepared for.
Summary
Carl and Donut return to the garage and find the parade preparations nearly complete. Their procession now includes five vehicles, three giant mounts, and a marching-band group of Mongo, Rend, Simoom, Gonk, and Bianca. Sweety will lead with Prepotente and Jurgen riding at the front, while Rosetta rides Onikuma and Samantha and Bigs ride Old Shuck; Donut and Carl will take the final float on the modified chicken truck, with Tipid driving.
The group finalizes equipment and presentation. Donut's Gurkha class has provided themed clothing, powerful hats, mount blankets, and special kukri claw caps for Mongo, but Carl and Donut keep some existing gear choices for practicality. Donut uses Sprout Forest to produce Requite Dahlias in matching colors, and the gremlins cover the vehicles and animals with flowers so the whole parade looks coordinated.
Carl also reflects on how the other theme groups have chosen to approach the parade. Florin's Resolution team is not pushing hard because the category is too vague, while Elle's Betrayal team abandons the idea of displaying warlord heads and chooses a different, sharper concept. Another team uses Donut's joke idea of making a giant menu for Decision, and the Destruction team plans a blunt show of force with a tank, an RV, and drawn weapons.
With about an hour left, Carl makes the practical but emotionally difficult choice to leave Donut's party and join Safehome Yolanda. This segregates Carl's personal space into a much smaller room but protects shared resources if Carl dies and helps set up their plan for the parade. Donut is upset when both of them lose their party titles, Bucket Boy briefly emerges from Carl's new room and is sent to safety in the guild commons, and as the countdown falls to two minutes, Carl calls Penelope over just as the system orders all parade participants to move to the staging area.
Who Appears
- CarlOrganizes the parade setup, reviews other teams' themes, and leaves Donut's party before staging.
- Princess DonutHelps design the procession, supplies Gurkha gear and flowers, and reacts badly to Carl leaving the party.
- PrepotenteRides at the front of the parade with Jurgen on Sweety and helps decorate the lead mount.
- Bucket BoyBriefly emerges from Carl's newly segregated room and is sent to safety in the guild commons.
- FlorinLeads the Resolution group and receives many of the remaining sluggalos.
- ImaniHelps manage guild-room logistics and leaves Jacobus behind while preparing her team's float.
- RosettaRides Onikuma in a glittering red gown and proudly wears her magical Gurkha hat.
- SamanthaRides Old Shuck with Bigs and enjoys her awkward but valued Gurkha hat.
- JamalPlaced inside the modified Toyota Tundra and set to drive despite his limited mobility.
- JurgenRides with Prepotente at the head of the procession and decorates Sweety with flowers.
- ElleWorks on the Betrayal float and rejects an especially gruesome first idea.
- PenelopeThe pig wanders nearby eating flowers until Carl calls her over as the parade begins.