Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 19

Overview

Carl and Donut reach the racers stalled by the hailstorm and discover an uneasy cluster of rivals from One Fine Pig and the Lady Dominators waiting at the top of the hill. Carl learns that One Fine Pig’s pig, Penelope, is divinely protected by Taranis, which sharply raises the danger of any confrontation around that team. The chapter ends with the real reason for the stoppage finally revealed: the boss is sitting in the road ahead, forcing all the teams into a tense moment before the next clash.

Summary

Carl coaches Bucket Boy to drive slowly through the pounding rain and hail because Donut’s enlarged Shield spell can protect the truck only imperfectly. As they crest the hill, Carl sees that Team One Fine Pig’s armored vehicle and the Lady Dominators’ convertible have stopped ahead under their own defenses. Carl knows the pause could become a trap, because the other teams might cooperate against the danger in front of them or turn on Carl’s group instead.

When Bucket Boy pulls up beside the Lady Dominators’ shield, Carl, Donut, and Bucket Boy get a better look at the assembled racers. Donut jokes about the unusually muscular group, and Bucket Boy recognizes Pontiff, a Taurin dancer-turned-mercenary who once mistreated him. Carl identifies Genesis and Rapture from the Lady Dominators, Pontiff from One Fine Pig, and Nico, a powerful Tigran racer, while noting that Pontiff’s vibrating hammer is helping protect the group from the storm.

Carl then examines One Fine Pig more closely and learns the team’s strangest and most important detail: Penelope, the team’s pig, is not a transformed person but an ordinary sow with divine protection from Taranis. The system information explains that harming or killing Penelope will mark the attacker for death by the thunder god, making her effectively untouchable. Carl also learns that Nico and Dario are both romantically attached to Penelope, while Dario sits in the truck glaring at Nico, suggesting tension inside the team.

Realizing how dangerous any fight around Penelope could become, Carl tells Bucket Boy to stay with the truck, watch for trouble, and avoid hurting the pig under any circumstances. Carl and Donut leave the shelter of the vehicles and pass Corcunda, who has been magically rendered unconscious in the Lady Dominators’ car. Once Donut recasts her shield against the hail, the pair advances toward the others and finally sees what has stopped everyone: the boss is sitting in the middle of the road at the bottom of the hill.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Guides Bucket Boy through the hail, assesses rival teams, and discovers the boss ahead.
  • Donut
    Maintains the truck’s shield, jokes about the racers, and advances with Carl toward the threat.
  • Bucket Boy
    Drives cautiously through the storm, recognizes Pontiff, and stays behind to guard the truck.
  • Nico
    Tigran racer from Team One Fine Pig, standing with Penelope near the halted group.
  • Penelope
    Ordinary pig on Team One Fine Pig, magically protected by Taranis and too dangerous to harm.
  • Pontiff
    Taurin mercenary for One Fine Pig whose vibrating hammer helps shield the group from hail.
  • Genesis
    One of the Lady Dominators, waiting with the stalled group at the hilltop.
  • Rapture
    Lady Dominators member standing with Genesis as the teams confront the obstacle ahead.
  • Dario
    Other Tigran from Team One Fine Pig, remaining in the truck and glaring at Nico.
  • Corcunda
    Half-mantaur in the Lady Dominators’ car, found magically unconscious in the back seat.
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