A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 18
Overview
At the start of heat two, Carl and Donut are ready to execute a carefully timed assassination of the Lady Dominators, but the race immediately spins out of control. Massive hail tears apart the staging area, and Team Sparkles unexpectedly destroys Girth the Trouble with a hidden cannon before Carl's team can make its move. The chapter turns the opening of the heat into chaos, leaving one team eliminated, the bugbears already moving, and Carl stranded in a far more dangerous position than planned.
Summary
At the heat two starting line, Carl tries to keep his team under control while Bucket Boy struggles to manage the truck in heavy rain. The nearby racers are packed tightly together under an awning, and Carl studies the teams around them, including the bugbears, Team Sparkles, Girth the Trouble, and the Lady Dominators. While everyone waits, Dwight the unicorn and Masterplan the guck elemental trade loud insults, underscoring how unstable the field already is.
Carl and Donut focus on their opening attack plan against the Lady Dominators. Because Carl's group can only afford to kill one team, they intend to eliminate Rapture, the driver, as quickly and cleanly as possible: Donut will pin her with a Danforth bolt, then Chiyome's giant bear will slam the car so the trapped driver is torn apart. Carl prepares a Molotov for follow-up attacks, and Donut confirms she has a clear shot despite the cramped lineup.
The race conditions suddenly worsen when the system warns that hail is beginning and will intensify. What is described as light hail turns out to be catastrophic, with enormous impacts shaking the ground and smashing the awning apart. Rain, ice, and broken metal destroy visibility and rattle Bucket Boy, but Carl orders everyone to stick to the plan as the countdown reaches zero.
When the light turns green, Carl throws a banger sphere through the windshield to clear their view, and Donut prepares to fire. Before she can take the shot, Team Sparkles reveals a hidden cannon and blasts Girth the Trouble's Chevy into the air, coating Donut with pieces of Masterplan and sending the burning car into the ditch. The system announces Girth the Trouble's elimination, Team Sparkles speeds away, and the bugbears drive off as well, leaving Carl's truck still sitting alone at the starting line while heat two descends into immediate chaos.
Who Appears
- CarlCoordinates the opening ambush, manages Bucket Boy, and watches the start collapse into chaos.
- DonutPrepares a Danforth-bolt shot at Rapture but loses the chance when another team attacks first.
- Bucket BoyNervous driver who struggles with the truck's controls and freezes under the worsening hail.
- DwightTeam Sparkles' unicorn; argues with Masterplan, then uses a hidden cannon to destroy Girth the Trouble.
- MasterplanGuck elemental from Girth the Trouble who taunts Dwight before being blown apart.
- JashaBugbear driver beside Carl at the line who speeds away once the race begins.
- LucienneSmall rodent member of Team Sparkles who surfaces from the vine vehicle during the argument.
- RaptureLady Dominators driver marked as the intended first kill in Carl and Donut's plan.