A Parade of Horribles
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 34
Overview
In a brief recovery scene, Carl and Donut regroup after the last heat while their chaotic household shows the lingering fallout of Samantha's recklessness and Gluteus's overdose. The chapter's main development comes when Rosetta delivers Team Helix as replacement drivers for the next race, but Quemada raises the price after noticing Carl's Emberus shrine. Carl accepts anyway, showing how urgently he and Donut need capable allies for the jungle race despite worsening costs and leverage against them.
Summary
While Carl resets his foot-routine buff, Jamal uses newly designed grabber-hands to brush both Carl and Donut, giving them their daily buffs. The scene turns comedic as Donut complains about Jamal's rough technique, Samantha studies Carl's newly exposed skin, and Samantha suggests testing beauty products on baby animals. Carl shuts that down and reminds Samantha that her drug advice nearly got them killed; nearby, Gluteus is still recovering from his overdose while Splash Zone feeds him soup.
With their health restored, Carl and Donut prepare for a calmer stretch of the day. They plan to meet the others at a Chicken and Waffles restaurant and then return to the Lollipop karaoke bar to look for the entertainers' guild entrance. Dong complains that he is being excluded from dealing with the other Corcunda, and Donut explains that they intend to win that Corcunda over before involving Dong.
The quiet is interrupted when Rosetta and Tipid arrive with three mercenaries. Rosetta introduces them as Team Helix, a three-member squad she has hired as possible drivers for the upcoming race. Olga, the Grulke member, says Team Helix has already placed first and second in earlier heats, then angrily explains that their second-place finish came after a chain-wielding demon cheated, killed two clients, and killed their teammate Helado before being partially checked by her own partner.
The meeting briefly derails when Samantha fixates on Finley, the Porsuk member of Team Helix, because his enchanted claws remind her of her ex. Finley plays along until Samantha becomes too literal and unsettling, and Donut has to cut the exchange short. The interruption also leads to a side revelation that Samantha has taken over Carl's unused room and redecorated it with new wallpaper.
Then the negotiation shifts sharply. Quemada, the fire-fairy member of Team Helix and a worshipper of Emberus, notices Carl's Emberus shrine and immediately announces that the agreed fee is no longer enough. Rosetta objects because the mercenary guild already set the price, but Carl asks a practical question about who in the squad can actually drive. When Quemada confirms that both Finley and Olga can drive while she provides protection, Carl decides the team is worth the cost and agrees to pay the new, tripled rate.
Who Appears
- Carlevaluates Rosetta's mercenaries, manages household chaos, and accepts the higher price for replacement drivers
- Donutgets brushed for buffs, jokes with the group, and helps receive Team Helix
- Rosettaarrives with Team Helix and tries to enforce the originally negotiated mercenary fee
- Quemadafire-fairy mercenary and Emberus worshipper who demands triple pay after seeing Carl's shrine
- OlgaGrulke member of Team Helix who recounts the squad's race results and a deadly cheating incident
- FinleyPorsuk mercenary with enchanted claws; one of Team Helix's drivers and Samantha's uncomfortable target
- Samanthasuggests cruel experiments, deflects blame for Gluteus's overdose, and bizarrely flirts with Finley
- Jamalpractices using new hand-like grabbers to brush Carl and Donut for their buffs
- Gluteusstill recovering from his overdose while sitting sheepishly and being fed soup