Cover of A Parade of Horribles

A Parade of Horribles

by Matt Dinniman


Genre
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, Humor and Comedy
Year
2026
Pages
705
Contents

Chapter 59

Overview

Carl’s attempt to rescue Corky before the next heat collapses when Genesis and Rapture reveal they overheard the plan and drive Corky safely onto the race route. At the same time, Dong Quixote begins dying from a Separation Anxiety curse after losing the sapient sock and its stolen nickels, turning Carl’s negligence into an immediate crisis. Faced with losing both Dong and the chance to save Corky, Carl changes course and decides to attempt Porky and Corky’s reunion during the race, after first saying goodbye to Li Na.

Summary

With a little over ninety minutes before the next heat, Carl coordinates several problems at once. Elle confirms that Li Na is ready to leave, while Imani reports that Dong Quixote is behaving erratically and fixating on his sock full of nickels. Carl also discovers he can no longer contact Splash Zone, Gluteus, or Doctor Bones after their trip to the Desperado Club, suggesting something has gone wrong there, but he sets that problem aside because rescuing Corky is more urgent.

Outside garage 2, Carl reviews the plan to break in with Donut’s Hole spell, disable Genesis and Rapture, seize Corky, and bring him back so Grigori can fuse him with Porky. On the way, Grigori explains that he has never performed this exact restoration before, though he knows similar joining magic and offers to help Samantha later if needed. Donut excitedly talks performance technique with Porky, but the mood shifts when Tipid and Bucket Boy warn that Dong’s health is falling under a new debuff called Negative ROI and that the sapient sock has teleported away after attacking Bucket Boy.

As Carl prepares to launch the rescue anyway, Dong messages him in distress, saying Carl is taking away his chance to say goodbye to Corky. Carl hardens himself and tells Donut to cast, but before the spell can begin, Genesis and Rapture open the garage and drive out with unconscious Corky already in their car. Protected on the road to the starting blocks, the sisters mock Carl, reveal they overheard the whole plan, refuse to give up Corky, and head toward the newly appeared factory for the next heat. Their taunts also expose Dong’s involvement to Porky, who becomes furious that Carl concealed it.

Moments later, Mordecai identifies Dong’s condition as a curse likely called Separation Anxiety, not something a temple can simply fix. Because the sock is gone and Dong’s scattered nickels were taken by many NPCs, the situation looks nearly hopeless, and Carl realizes his own choices caused it. Guilt over Dong and the coming loss of Li Na forces Carl to rethink his approach. Instead of delaying Corky’s rescue until after the race, Carl decides they will reunite Porky and Corky during the heat itself, tells Grigori to learn to drive, and leads the group back to say goodbye to Li Na.

Who Appears

  • Carl
    Plans Corky’s rescue, confronts Dong’s collapse, feels responsible, and decides to reunite the halves during the race.
  • Donut
    Helps prepare the break-in, talks performance with Porky, manages Dong, and backs Carl’s shifting plan.
  • Porky
    Prepares to be fused with Corky, chats with Donut, and becomes angry when Dong’s involvement is revealed.
  • Dong Quixote
    Falls ill under a Separation Anxiety curse and begs Carl for a chance to say goodbye to Corky.
  • Genesis
    Drives Corky out of the garage, reveals the rescue plan was overheard, and escapes toward the next heat.
  • Rapture
    Mocks Carl’s team, claims Corky for herself and Genesis, and rides safely toward the factory heat.
  • Grigori
    Explains the risky fusion process, offers magical expertise, and is told to learn driving for the new plan.
  • Imani
    Monitors Dong’s decline, notes combat restrictions, and rushes back when the curse situation worsens.
  • Mordecai
    Identifies Dong’s debuff as a likely Separation Anxiety curse and explains why recovery may be impossible.
  • Corky
    Remains unconscious in Genesis and Rapture’s car as the target of Carl’s failed rescue attempt.
  • Li Na
    Waits in the guildhall for a farewell as the group prepares for her departure.
  • Bucket Boy
    Reports Dong’s worsening condition and loses the sapient sock after it attacks and teleports away.
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